90’s Horrorthon! Army of Darkness [1993]

darkness

 I will get this out of the way- I am not what you’d traditionally call a fan of Sam Raimi’s immortal Deadite Legacy but I can sure as Hell appreciate it and the minds behind it. But as it so happens, “Army of Darkness” is my favourite out of the trilogy because of how straight up fun and tongue in cheek it all is. Bruce Campbell’s Ash has come a long way and what better way to show it than to crack wise at the “primitive screwheads” of the Dark Ages in England. This film isn’t off the wall gooey, it’s all about being singular and entertaining. So, let us commence the wonkery!

Time for my third SM.com 90’s Horror Month Live Tweet-fest! “Army of Darkness” on the menu!

I recognise the Rennaisance Pictures logo from the “Xena” television series of which a lot of the crew hail.

For somebody facing certain death, Ash is remarkably laconic. Then again that’s no surprise.

“Shop smart, shop S-Mart!”

This kinda-flashback is quite Hammererian. Nice illustrations in the Necromonicon BTW.

Hi Bridget Fonda, you weren’t Linda!

Bruce Campbell Vs. The Army of Darkness!!!!!1!

That poor Oldsmobile. 😦

This scene with the knights is so Monty Python. ALL scenes with them are like Monty Python scenes.

“That’s not a castle, that’s a matte painting!” “SHHHH!”

Why do they keep the Deadite Pit in the MIDDLE of the square? Why not someplace safe, you know? Behind a locked iron door or something? 😛

“Well HELLOO Mr. Fancypants. I got news for you, pal, you ain’t leadin’ but two things now- “Jack” and “Shit” and Jack left town.”

I’d like to see this scene being enacted in a “Game of Thrones” universe. Imagine the possibilities.

What a lovely shade of red that man’s blood had. X-D

LOL @ Ash throwing Henry under the metaphorical bus.

That looks like my bathwater… if I took baths.

Haha, I actually think this Deadite hag is a cagefighter- bitch got moves.

That chainsaw is very well-trained to come to it’s master.

Shoelace? Shoelaces weren’t even around back then!

Bruce Campbell is one of the few guys I could truly call “dreamy”.

“THIS IS MY BOOMSTICK!”

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Intimidation through product promotion. Now that is masterful salesmanship.

Is it bad I actually want to see Ash’s stump? I have a thing for gawking at wounds.

“First you wanna kill me, now you wanna kiss me. Blow.” Is that a dismissal or an invitation?

“It’s a trick. Get an axe!” “Yo, She-Bitch. Let’s go!” Immortality. Did Ash just orgasm shooting that boomstick?

Inappropriately time-framed Bard Talk.

“Gimme some sugar, baby.” LOL @ the cheesey romantic montage. This is totes ridick.

I wish my buddy Heather was here, she’d make such better commentary than me. 😛 *Shout out to you, Ms. Seebach* ❤

There’s that infamous Rapid Gopher Cam!

Bahhahaha, I do love how they made the evil force sound like a feral NASCAR.

I am loving all of these old-school horror movie tropes. ❤

Hahahaha mini-Ashes, oh shit, I can’t help but loose my shit at these little shits.

Hoo-RAY for slapstick.

Look on the bright side, Ash, at least no strange appendages are coming out of your arse.

Oh God, I’m busting a gut at this Siamese twin shit.

“I’m BAD Ash and you’re GOOD Ash! Goody lil’ two shoes! You’re goody lil’ two shoes, you’re goody lil’ two shoes!” Bad Ash- Maturity Paragon

I’ll be damned if that’s what a shotgun wound pointblank to the face would look like.

Observe, kids! Do it yourself facial reconstruction!

That flying book is some serious Fantasia stuff.

NIKTU, ASH! NIKTU!

I’m kinda wired on painkillers at present, forgive my misquoting and bad grammar.

These skeletons are seriously rude to visitors.

Is this somewhat the equivalent to the vine rape in the first movie? I think that’s Raimi is kinda aiming for. Can anybody confirm?

“Keep your damn, filthy bones outta my mouth!” Words to live by and teach your daughters.

Bad Ash or Mason Verger? 😉

HAHAHA “Yeah, yeah, okay, get the fuck outta my face.”

This knight’s hair can’t decide if it’s a mullet or a pageboy haircut.

How does your foot taste in your mouth, Ash?

Oh man, all of this Ray Harryhausen referencing is making me all warm and nostalgic inside. The skellies offer some of the best comedy here.

BTW, how can a skeleton cough? 😛

Man, Good or Bad, Ash always smash dat azz.

EvilAshCap

Umm, Evil Ash ravishing Sheila I understand, but skeletons and live women? Not so much, like how would it be possible? I’m over-thinking.

Finally, Ash nuts up.

“I may be baaaaad… but I feel goooood.” Says every wench who’s had intercourse with an undead demon.

Ash Williams would be BFF’s with Tyrion Lannister.

Yep, science makes anything possible no matter what era and dimension you land in. SCIENCE, BITCH!

Where did the skellies get the bones to make their battle march instruments? Is that like pseudo-aural cannibalism? Is that even a term?!

This reminds me of a twisted version of the climax of “Bedknobs and Broomsticks”…

LOL gotta love how you can clearly see the extra’s faces behind those horror masks. Bless ye.

“Cry “havoc’ and let loose the dogs of waaaaaar!” Magnificent. One of my favourite quotes from Willy S. 😉

That skeleton puppet is flopping back and forth on that horse like a Cabbage Patch doll.

Hahahah bones flying everywhere, how are they feeling pain I have no idea but it still makes me laugh.

OMG EVIL ASH JUST DID XENA’S BATTLE CRY!

Nice tricked out Oldsmobile, baby.

Is it just my own fancy, but does Embeth look like Helena Bonham Carter?

LOL was that legless crawling skeleton a reference to that torso and head gentleman from “Freaks” with the knife in his mouth? Awesome!

I remember Autolycus doing this exact same fighting routine. 😉

“You found me beautiful once.” “Honey… you got REEEAL ugly!”- Dead man walking, Williams!

“You are pissin’ me off!!!!”

Raimi is undeniably and understandably a Harryhausen fanboy, I adore it. I adore it like I adore cute baby animals, chocolate and meat pies.

LOL @ the fey-voiced skeleton crying “Let’s get out of here!”

Awww, primitive screwhead group-hug!

Ash is such a slut.

Hello Ted Raimi, nice to see neopotism isn’t always a bad thing. 😀 Ted will always be Joxer The Mighty to me. ❤

Oh that’s not a demon, that’s a typical woman at a sale, chill out.

I noticed throughout the movie the Deadites aren’t quite so prone to verbal murder, perhaps to avoid issues with censors? Not complaining.

Oh, this movie. Hail to the King, baby. ❤

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