Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #97: Mannequin Two – On The Move

Hey, everyone! Welcome to the 97th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. I’m so very sorry for the over three month delay of this edition. Since the last edition back in late May, a whole bunch of stuff had come up on my end (work, more Covid-19 lockdowns, podcasting, reviewing for the site, working a top secret project with Super Marcey, personal stuff etc.), that I haven’t had a chance to do one until now. Once again, I deeply apologise.  If you may remember in the previous edition of this column, I posted up poll with three bad movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this 97th instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… MANNEEQUIN TWO: ON THE MOVE! Did the world really need a sequel the ’80s film MANNEQUIN? Should we expect anything good from the director of MAC AND ME? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this a billion times before, but I’m going to say it again: is it too late for me to *not* watch this film? #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

I’m not sure if the world needed a sequel to MANNEQUIN but for some reason, here we are… #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Yep, when I think of MANNEQUIN, I I immediately think that the sequel should start off in mediaeval times. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Oh, look! It’s the discount Wish version Buffy the Vampire Slayer Kristy Swanson! #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Even though this film is set in medieval times, it’s very obvious that it was most likely shot in upstate New York or something. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Hey! It’s William Ragsdale from the original FRIGHT NIGHT as the love interest! #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Ragsdale just sliced off two horns off a man’s helmet. If this isn’t some metaphor for circumcision, I don’t know what is. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

I love how all these medieval costumes look like they were bought down at the local costume shop. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

I honestly think the real reason that Ragsdale mother The Queen hates Swanson because she’s a Trumper. Can’t say I blame her. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Oh, no. Swanson got tricked into putting on a magical necklace that turns her into a mannequin. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Oh, hi Terry Kiser as the Sorcerer! Remind me to buy you a beer after this movie. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Meanwhile in the present because we didn’t have another money in the budget to keep the medieval costumes on set for a few days… #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

How is it possible that this film which came out in the early ‘90s, feels more ‘80s than the first film, which actually came out in the ‘80s? #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

I like how Ragsdale takes the steering wheel to his jeep so one can steal it. Newsflash, mate: no one wants to your rundown crappy jeep. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Ummm… Why does the security guard at Ragsdale’s new job look exactly like Rick Moranis? #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Yeah, I’m only 15 minutes into this film and you can easily tell that this was obviously made by the guy who directed MAC AND ME. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Oh, hell yes! The best character from the first film Hollywood Montrose, played by Meshach Taylor, is back! #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

I like how Hollywood’s sunglasses are designed to look like scissors. That’s awesome. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Even though we’re not in medieval times anymore, the ‘90s fashion in this film is even more weirder. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Hollywood is driving a pink Cadillac. Another reason why his character is the best one in the film. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Oh, no. The Swanson mannequin fell out of the moving truck on the bridge and into the river below. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

There is way too many over-the-top accents in this scene. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Ummm… The German removalists are trying to bum a ride and the only way they can get anyone to stop is by to… Take off their clothes and dance in the streets… Okay. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

You know for a film that has a person who can turn into a mannequin, *this* scene is just plain too silly. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Ewww… Ragsdale just kissed the mannequin. What a creep. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Ragsdale didn’t freak out because the mannequin turned human, he really freaked he realised that his co-star is Kristy Swanson. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

It has to say something when Kirsty Swanson’s mannequin form has more emotional range than she does in human form. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Swanson’s hairdo in this film looks a giant mullet that put in her head. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

I like how the first thing that Ragsdale does to show Swanson how the world has changed, is take her to go get a falafel. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Yeah, it’s official. Hollywood’s costumes alone should have won this film a Oscar. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Ummm… I don’t know The Sorcerer has a very large single hair growing out of the mole on his face, but it’s gross. Seriously, pull it out, dude! #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Ahhh… Why the hell type of outfits are the Sorcerer’s German henchmen wearing?! It looks like they are going to aerobics or something. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

I don’t know why that besides playing Hollywood, Meshach Taylor also plays the bouncer at this night club, but I’ll allow it. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

It’s a good thing that woman that Swanson meets the ladies restroom is showing her how to use lipstick because this would be a completely different film if she was doing cocaine. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Oh, man. Ragsdale’s dancing in this club scene is so hilariously bad. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Remember when back in the ‘90s what you had to make a video if you signed up to dating service? Good times. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Oh, geez. Swanson’s leopard skin dress is so ugly. Leopard print will never be in, people. It never has and never will look good lol. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Ahhh… Why did Ragsdale put sausages in the toaster? #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Yeah… It’s very clear that Ragsdale has never cooked a single day in his life. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Okay, after Hollywood, Ragsdale’s Mum is the entertaining character in this film. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Seriously though, is it really a bad thing if Kirsty Swanson stays a dummy forever? #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Hey, ‘90s film! The ‘80s called and they wanted their dated trends back! #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

I gotta say, I think that most of film’s budget went to the tan that the Wizard has all over him. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

The biggest missed opportunity that we never got was a spin-off film that only focused on the character of Hollywood and no one else. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Once again, the German henchmen’s outfit continue to be very ridiculous. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Okay, now I know what the German henchmen look like in their outfits. They look exactly ‘90s WWF wrestlers. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Terry Kiser, who plays the Sorcerer, is probably the only person in this film who knows EXACTLY what type of film he is in and is chewing the scenery because of it. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Finally! The film has done away with Swanson’s horrible mullet and given her a proper hairdo. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

*Cue cliched ‘90s clothes shopping montage* #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Ummm… If the Sorcerer is meant to be all powerful and stuff, why is shooting arrows at our main characters with a crossbow? #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

“You were in the army?” “Yes! They were looking for a few good men… And so was I.” Okay, I gotta admit. That was a funny line. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Okay, now the Wizard is throwing pot plants at Ragsdale. Again, why can’t he just use magical powers instead? #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Ummm… Where did that toy racing car that Swanson is driving come from? #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

“Nothing will come between us… Except for my love for Trump. I drop you for him.” #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

“Oh, my God… He’s in love with… A dummy.” Funnily enough, that’s exact same reaction that any parent has when they find out that their son is dating Kirsty Swanson in real life. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Sad theme from MANNEQUIN TWO: ON THE MOVE. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Hollywood is dressed up and pretending to be a military general to break Ragsdale out of prison. Again, Hollywood is the best character in this film. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

I don’t know why people are going all out by putting on a show for a mannequin, but whatever. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Okay… This show that Hollywood is performing in is just bizarre. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Okay, now we’re having a random sword fight between Ragsdale and the Sorcerer. Yawn. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

I have so many questions about this film… the first one being: where did Ragsdale learn how to sword fight. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

You know all the problems of this film would be sorted out if they just DESTROY THE NECKLACE!!! #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Holy crap! The Sorcerer is packing heat and be shot Ragsdale’s boss in the leg! #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Now a hot air balloon is in this film. Again… Okay… #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Dammit! Someone fall out of the balloon already! #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Holy shit! Swanson put the necklace on the Sorcerer, turning him into a mannequin, then he falls out of the balloon and smashes into pieces onto the ground below… Yep… Swanson & Ragsdale are killers! #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Yeah… Ragsdale & Swanson can finally be together… Whatever… He’s going to dump her area once he finds out she’s a Trumper. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

Well, that’s the end of the film. Yeah, this is definitely a bad film, but it is offensive and harmless. Just like first one. That being said though, this sequel is way more dumber and sillier. #MannequinTwoOnTheMove

I hope you all enjoyed reading this 97th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in a few weeks for my 98th edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad films: DRIVEN, THE GLIMMER MAN or PLAYING WITH FIRE. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on soon!

Article written by Bede Jermyn


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