Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #92: Verotika

Hey, everyone! Welcome to my 92nd edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series! Please once again accept my apologies for the absolute lateness of this edition. I was going to have this on the site in January as I originally planned but due to a whole bunch of stuff in both personal and professional life in January, February and early March, I didn’t get the time to post this edition until now. Now back in January, I said I was going to do a special Bad Films Of 2020 themed edition of the column in honour of all the awful films that were released throughout 2020. I posted up a poll with three bad 2020 movies on it and I said that whichever one out of those three had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this 92nd instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… VEROTIKA! Is this really THE ROOM of horror films? What drove Misfits frontman Glenn Zanzig to make this as his directorial debut? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this a billion times before but I’m going to say again: is it too late for me to *not* watch this film? #Verotika

So… Glenn Danzig of The Misits directed a horror film. This is not going to go well isn’t it? #Verotika

Oh, hi, Kayden Kross! I’m going to assume that you are going to be our Cryptkeeper style presenter of this horror anthology I assume? #Verotika

I wish I could say that I’m a fan of Kayden Kross’s work, but I don’t want to make assumptions about me so… I’m going to say nothing lol. #Verotika

Yep! Not even two minutes in and we’ve got our first bit of gore with Kayden Kross poking out this chained up women’s eyes. Ouch! #Verotika

Just like this woman, I have a feeling that I’m going to have to poke my eyes out at the end of this film. #Verotika

Hmmm… Based on these opening credits, there seems to be a lot of well known adults film stars in this film. Not that I know anything about them or anything. #Verotika

Director, writer, executive producer, composer etc. Glen Danzig has more credits in this film than Tommy Wiseau did in THE ROOM. #Verotika

Oh, man. I know that this was a low budget production but if you told me that this film only cost $100 to make, I would believe you. #Verotika

The moment with we see in this segment is a couple is getting down-and-dirty with each other. Why do I get the feeling we’ll be seeing a lot of that in this film? #Verotika

That CGI spider was horrible. #Verotika

I don’t want to make assumptions, but I think that this woman’s pink hair is a wig. #Verotika

WHAT THE HELL?!!! This guy just pulled this woman’s top up and it’s revealed that she has eyes for nipples. I repeat: she has EYES for NIPPLES. What the hell is going on?!! #Verotika

Oh.. My… God… Her eye nipples are crying tears!!! This is inane!!! #Verotika

Now that CGI spider has turned into a giant humanoid spider monster. 10 minutes into this film and it’s literally gone bat shit insane. #Verotika

You know between the eye nipples and the giant human spider creature, the scariest part of this segment for me is all the horrible French accents from the actors. #Verotika

So… Much… Neon. #Verotika

Hey, VEROTIKA. SUSPIRIA called and they want their visual style back. #Verotika

You know it’s hard to be scared of this human spider monster when you can can see the seems of his costume being exposed in his crotch area. Seriously, it could have been that hard to fix that part of the costume up. #Verotika

I swear these street scenes are just of the same set but shot at different angles. #Verotika

“Do you like what you see?” *Cue the famous scene from SAMURAI COP* #Verotika

I don’t know why Glenn Danzig asked the actors to a French accent. It feels incredibly pointless. #Verotika

So… The movie is just doing to completely ignore that the lead of this segment has eyes for nipples? #Verotika

I like this reporter is dressed up as one from the 1950s. #Verotika

Oh, man. I don’t if it’s because of the accents or not, but the acting is so… So… So bad. #Verotika

“This film… It is only people making sex.” Everyone’s thought while watching this film. #Verotika

I’m not sure how Dajette can’t tell the cinema she went into is a porno theatre but whatever. #Verotika

Ewww… Three creepy guys trying to feel her while she has fallen asleep in the cinema. #Verotika

So… The nipples eyes are going to be forgotten about and not factor into the plot at all, are they? #Verotika

I like how Dajette rings the police on that old fashioned dial-up phone but she didn’t even press any of the buttons. #Verotika

Hmmm… I don’t know much, but I’m pretty sure that French policemen dress up like that. #Verotika

“Take your hands off her neck!” HIS HANDS AREN’T EVEN ANYWAY NEAR HER NECK!!! Dumbarses! #Verotika

So both the human spider monster and Dajette are dead. I totally did not see that coming. #Verotika

Finally the eye nipples get a mention again for the first time seen the start of this segment. Again, what were the point of them? They didn’t add much to the story at all. #Verotika

After that horribly pointless segment, Kayden presents out next one CHANGE OF FACE. I expect nothing but more of the same with this one. #Verotika

Oh, no. This segment is inspired by giallo films. Brace yourselves, everyone. We’re in for a doozy. #Verotika

Hmmm… Looks like that there is going to be a lot be a lot of neon in this segment too. #Verotika

Yep. Based on what I’ve seen so far, there is definitely not going to be a good acting in this segment either. #Verotika

Lens flares!!! #Verotika

Seriously, this strip club has been going on for about 4 hours now. #Verotika

I like that there is a stripper at this club just simply named “Mystery Girl”. #Verotika

I swear that strip club dances scenes take up most of this segment’s runtime. #Verotika

Well… These cops are definitely awkward. #Verotika

For someone who’s about to be murdered and have their face stolen, this woman is pretty nonchalant about it. #Verotika

He we are… Back at the strip club… Watching more dances… Again… That’s another hour gone from my life because of this film. #Verotika

Mystery Gril sees hallucinations of her victims out in the crowd without their faces and is it just me, or does their ‘faceless’ make-up looks like that they have pizza stuck to their faces. #Verotika

Between the killer in the first segment being called “The Neck Breaker” and this ones’s segment being called “The Face Collector”, Glenn Danzig isn’t very creative when it comes to coming up with cool serial killer names. #Verotika

OMG… Was the sign for the strip club a CG effect?!! #Verotika

HOLY SHOT! Sean Waltman a.k.a. X-Pac from the WWE is the guy at the counter of the strip club! #Verotika

Once again, the acting is completely nonexistent in this film. #Verotika

Yeah… Dialogue is definitely not Glenn Danzig’s strong suit as writer. Or his strong suit in anything really. #Verotika

Well, that whole scene with the detective trying to find Mystery Girl was pointless. #Verotika

Again I don’t want to make even more assumptions, I have a feel that Glenn Danzig likes butts. Lots and lots of butts. #Verotika

Wait, that’s it?! Mystery Girl gets away and the segment ends there?! Just like the first, this segment was completely and utterly pointless as well. #Verotika

Kayden Kross is back to give us the third and final segment DRUKIJA CONTESSA OF BLOOD. Once again, I have a feeling this going to be complete pointless too. #Verotika

So… The segment begins with the main character Drukija smearing blood all over her face…. Okay. #Verotika

For some reason this segment is set in the Middle Ages. Hopefully they actually do something with the setting compared to the previous two segments. #Verotika

Oh, hi, Caroline Williams from TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2. Not sure why you are hear, but I’m not complaining though. #Verotika

Wow. Caroline Williams’ character is a complete dick! She just sold her daughter off to be a slave to Drujika. Again, dick! #Verotika

Hey, Drujika. Grace Jones called and she wants her outfits back. #Verotika

I’ll give credit to this segment: there’s no scenes with tonnes of neon in them. #Verotika

I have to say it’s pretty impressive that Glenn Danzig was able to make a Middle Ages looking world on the budget of $20. The sets don’t look fake at all. #Verotika

Cleary this segment was based on the real life killer Elizabeth Bathory in regards to Drujika killing young virginal women and bathing on their blood. #Verotika

Ugh… This blood bathing scene has being going on for what feels like 14 hours now. #Verotika

Oh, man. That throat slit effect was bad. Also I like how the blood coming out of it is spraying like it is a garden hose. #Verotika

So… More blood bathing, huh? So much blood bathing. #Verotika

Why does this film look and feel more like a porn parody of a film than an actual film? #Verotika

Okay, Drujika. You can stop looking at yourself in the mirror now. You’ve been doing it for at least 40 minutes. #Verotika

OMG… How is it possible after making two extremely pointless segments, Glenn Danzig has made one that’s even more pointless than those. Seriously, nothing happens in this story! #Verotika

For a scene that takes place in the woods at night, it’s brighter than daytime. #Verotika

Oh, hi, wolfy! #Verotika

Here we go again. Drujika is killing and drinking the blood of another virgin. This is just getting tedious and repetitive now. #Verotika

I wish I could say that the practical effects are awesome but unfortunately, they look horrible bad too. #Verotika

Now she’s eating that girl’s heart. Whatever. #Verotika

Once again, the night time scenes are more brighter than the daytime ones. #Verotika

Drujika’s arc throughout this segment. Kill virgin. Drink blood. Rinse. Repeat. That’s all that happen. #Verotika

Oh, geez. That severed head is so badly put together. It looks a mannequin head with a wig and eyes bulging out of it. #Verotika

Well… Yeah. I’ve said it before and say again: just like the other two segments, this one was incredibly pointless too. #Verotika

All the performances in this film are horrible but luckily, Kayden Kross is the one in this who is actually decent in it. #Verotika

If I had four words to sum up this film overall as a experience, it would be these: horrible, tedious, pointless and boring. #Verotika

Well, that’s the end of the film. Glenn Danzig you’re a talent musician but when it comes to directing? Yeah… think this sums up what I think of your new career as a filmmaker based on your directorial debut. #Verotika

I hope you all enjoyed reading this 92nd edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in a few weeks for my 93rd edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad films: THE COUNTRY BEARS, NORTH or THE SPIRIT. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on soon!

Article written by Bede Jermyn


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