The Super Network

Hey, everyone! Welcome to the 72nd edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. Apologies for the lateness of this one. I got caught up with a bunch of stuff last month and I wasn’t able to post it until now. If you remember back in April, I decided for this edition that I wasn’t going to you let guys decide which bad film I was going to watch. Why was that you ask? It’s because this one marks the 6th anniversary of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon column, which is a milestone. Seriously I still can’t believe that it has been in fact 6 years since I first started this column. I thought that to celebrate this special occasion that instead of asking you guys to pick which bad film I should watch and live-tweet, I would pick the film myself. So which bad film have I chosen for the 72nd/6th anniversary edition of the article? I decided that I was going to do it on one of the most absolutely bat shit insane films that I have ever seen in my entire life: the little seen rock ‘n’ roll themed horror/comedy HARD ROCK ZOMBIES! How was it possible that a film both as wrong and as bizarre as this got made? Is it possible that this film is more crazier than both TROLL 2 and THE ROOM combined? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I’ve know I’ve said this many times before but I’m going to say it again: is it too late for me to *not* watch this film? #HardRockZombies

You know it doesn’t really surprise me at all that The Cannon Group distributed this film. It really doesn’t. How so? Don’t worry, you’ll find out soon enough. #HardRockZombies

I’m not even a minute into this film and I’m already confused. #HardRockZombies

I like how these two guys pick up this woman on the side of the road and then literally a few seconds later, they go skinny-dipping. #HardRockZombies

Umm… what is up with those three creepy people wearing suits (one of which has a mutated face) watching and taking photos of those three teens from the car skinny-dipping. What a bunch of pervs. #HardRockZombies

Wow! The hitchhiking woman just straight up murdered those two guys that picked her up by drowning them. I have a feeling she must be working for those three creepy guys. #HardRockZombies

Now she’s just cut off the hand of one of the this two dead guys. Why? I don’t know. #HardRockZombies

Okay, now where just randomly some rock concert somewhere. The lead of this band looks like Freddie Mercury with a mullet. #HardRockZombies

Yeah, this rock band sounds alright but sadly, they’re no Dragon Sound though. #HardRockZombies

I don’t know why this band walking around backstage in their underwear but clearly the Red Hot Chilli Peppers may have taken some inspiration from these guys for their image. #HardRockZombies

This fan-girl that the lead singer is talking to looks a bit like Jennifer Grey. #HardRockZombies

Uh, oh. That female hitchhiker is back again and the band just picked her in their van. They should have kept on driving. #HardRockZombies

Ahhh… Was that a werewolf we just saw in that room? What the hell is going on? #HardRockZombies

One of the three creepy guys we saw earlier just gave the band a severed hand, then they saw chicken get its head cut off and heard that werewolf howl… Again why are they staying at the female hitchhiker’s creepy mansion again? #HardRockZombies

We’re gonna need a montage! Montage! #HardRockZombies

I like how the band are just dancing up and down the Main Street and other weird crap, while the townspeople are looming at them like, “What the hell is up with these guys?” #HardRockZombies

I like how they reuse the exact footage of the same townspeople over and over again. #HardRockZombies

Geez, that fan-girl that we saw earlier’s dad is pretty hostile towards the lead singer. Why’s that you ask? You’ll find out soon enough too. #HardRockZombies

The band just randomly thrown in jail and their concert has been cancelled. Makes sense because they do suck. #HardRockZombies

Wait, hold the phone! The fangirl is a young teenager and the lead singer of the band is in his mid-20s?! And their massively flirting with each other?! Oh, dear God! #HardRockZombies

Ahhh… Why are we watching an old German couple have sex? #HardRockZombies

OMG! This has gotten even more disturbing! The creepy guys are watching the old German people have sex, and they are allowing them to watch do it too!!! WHAT AM I WATCHING?!!! #HardRockZombies

I don’t want to make assumptions, but I think the lead singer of the band might actually be a pedo. #HardRockZombies

Oh… My… God… The band are performing a song that the lead singer wrote for the young fangirl Cassie and it’s called… Wait for it…. “I’m so in love, but you’re so young”. #HardRockZombies

The band have just been electrocuted by the creepy family… Thank goodness for that because I don’t think I can listen to another second of that gross song. #HardRockZombies

Ummm… Why are we at random town meeting? #HardRockZombies

This meeting over whether the townspeople should let the band play a concert there are or not is going on way too long than it needs to be. #HardRockZombies

I haven’t seen a town with so many weird and bizarre people in it since the town of Nilbog from TROLL 2. #HardRockZombies

Geez, this town hates rock music as much as the town from FOOTLOOSE hates dancing. #HardRockZombies

Tarantulas. Tarantulas everywhere. #HardRockZombies

There’s that werewolf again. #HardRockZombies

Umm… There’s a served hand that’s moving in that jar. #HardRockZombies

You know what this film was missing? Gratuitous nudity. #HardRockZombies

Oh, man. The dialogue is so bad. #HardRockZombies

The female hitchhiker just murdered one of the band members in the shower. Cleary this scene is meant to be a homage to PSYCHO. Just not as good though. #HardRockZombies

Holy shit! The old German woman is the werewolf and she just straight up killed two members of the band! #HardRockZombies

Me throughout this entire film so far. #HardRockZombies

Ummm… How did Cassie get from the town hall to the mansion that quickly? #HardRockZombies

Okay, one of the creepy guys is chasing Cassie and the lead singer with a chainsaw. The film has gone all TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE all do a sudden. #HardRockZombies

Death by weed whacker. #HardRockZombies

Well, the band is all dead. I know I should be sad for them but honestly, their music sucked and their lead singer was a total creep. #HardRockZombies

Geez, the actor who plays the old German guy is so over the top. #HardRockZombies

OH… MY… GOD… I’m not making this up, this just happened in the film: the old German guy has been revealed to be … ADOLF HITLER!!! #HardRockZombies

“Oh, my God!” I think everyone watching this film had the exact same reaction when this twist was revealed. #HardRockZombies

Okay, this film has gone into full total Nazioitation now. #HardRockZombies

Oh, Cassie. Please don’t cry for the lead singer at his grave. He was a total pervy creep. #HardRockZombies

What… The… Hell… The band have come out of their graves and become zombies! Hard Rock Zombies is you will. #HardRockZombies

Seriously, I cannot believe the direction that this film gone to. This is completely unexpected. #HardRockZombies

Ahhh… Why are there palm trees in this small country town in the north west? Just like the rest of the film, it doesn’t make sense. #HardRockZombies

Wait so if Adolf Hitler’s wife in this film is in fact Eva Braun?! And she’s the werewolf?! #HardRockZombies

The zombie band have just arrived at the mansion and killed off all of Hitler’s creepy family, including Adolf?! Well… That was unexpectedly quick. #HardRockZombies

Wait, hold the phone! We’re haven’t even arrived at the hour mark of the film and bad guys have been defeated?! And we still have over an 40 minutes of the film left?! Again… What?! #HardRockZombies

One of the towns people is feeling up Eva Braun’s corpse. Very classy, filmmakers. #HardRockZombies

Okay, now because they were killed by the zombie band, Hitler and his family have now turned into zombies as well. Figures. I guess they stretch out the plot of bizarre film a bit more. #HardRockZombies

It’s nice to see Thing from THE ADDAMS FAMILY getting some extra acting work. #HardRockZombies

The Hitler zombies are now attacking the towns people and turning them into zombies too. Seriously this film gets more and more bat shit as it goes along. #HardRockZombies

I like how the band still decides to put on a concert even though they are zombies now. #HardRockZombies

Also I like how the band’s make up is suppose to make them look like zombies but in fact, they just look like they could be members of KISS. #HardRockZombies

Ewwww!!! They’re dining that creepy pedo “I’m so in love, but you’re so young” again!!! Gross!!! #HardRockZombies

Noooo! There’s a fantasy sequence in between the band’s performance where Cassie and the lead singer are kissing! This is so wrong on my levels! *Vomit* #HardRockZombies

Excuse me while I go and vomit some more after that fantasy sequence. #HardRockZombies

“You little some of a bitch! What did you do to Arnold?!” Well, it’s pretty obvious that your boyfriend was decapitated, lady. #HardRockZombies

Ahhh… Why is one of the zombies eating their own hand? On second thought… Don’t answer that. #HardRockZombies

Now that zombie is just eating himself. Okay. #HardRockZombies

I like how that little zombie is eating a chunk out of that cow but the cow isn’t even reacting to it at all. #HardRockZombies

Despite discovering a severed head in the back of their car, that mother and little girl seem to be handling it pretty well. #HardRockZombies

So… The townspeople’s plan to not be attacked by zombies is… Is use pictures of dead celebrities’ heads as some kind of shield?… What. #HardRockZombies

Okay, the other zombies have joined the band onstage during their performance and are jamming out as well? Seriously, this film is just keeps getting more nutty by the minute. #HardRockZombies

Seriously, who’s the lead of this film? I thought it either the band or even Cassie but they don’t feature in the film that much. #HardRockZombies

I don’t know what was up with that woman being obsessed with dead boyfriend’s severed head but whatever. #HardRockZombies

I don’t know how it’s possible for a film to be four completely different films all at once, but this one found a way. #HardRockZombies

So the townspeople have decided that the only way to get rid of the zombies, is the sacrifice Cassie because she’s a virgin? Okay… We’re heading in that direction now. #HardRockZombies

Now the zombie band have been convinced to save Cassie and defeate all the other zombies that are running amok in town. So how going to do that? Perform a song of course! #HardRockZombies

I mean performing a song to lure the zombies away from Cassie is novel idea and all, but there has to be a more permanent way to stop the zombie, right? #HardRockZombies

No… Nooo… Nooooo… The film isn’t going to do what I think it’s going to, right?! Right?! #HardRockZombies

Holy shit! The film just went there! It literally just went there! Seriously, holy shit! #HardRockZombies

So you want to know how the zombie band and the survivors defeat Hitler and the other zombies for good? Well… They took them into a room and… Gassed them to death. #HardRockZombies

SERIOUSLY, I’M NOT JOKING ABOUT THIS?! Just when I thought this film couldn’t get any more wrong than it already is, it has found a way to go lower than that! This is so wrong on so many bloody levels! THIS IS INSANE! HOLY BLOODY SHIT!!! #HardRockZombies

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Okay, after all that insanity I just witnessed, this scene of Cassie being by the grave site of the lead singing and saying that she’ll be loving him forever despite gross age difference, seems tame on the so wrong metre now. #HardRockZombies

Of course the film has to end with the band’s creepy pedo song playing as the lead singer’s hand rises out of his grave and gently touches Cassie’s cheek. Not disturbing at all. #HardRockZombies

Well, that’s the end of the film. As terrible this film is on so many different levels, it is without a doubt one of the most absolutely bat shit insane and truly wrong films I have ever seen in my entire life. For those reasons alone, it has to be seen. #HardRockZombies

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 72nd/6th anniversary edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in later this month for my 73rd edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad films: HARD TICKET TO HAWAII, MR. NANNY and THE NUMBER 23. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

Written by Bede Jermyn