Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #69: Miami Connection

This entry was posted on February 28, 2019 by , in Columns, Tweets and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment

Hey everyone! Welcome to the 69th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. As you already know a few weeks ago here on SuperMarcey.com, I posted up poll with three bad movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this 69th instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… MIAMI CONNECTION! Does this film stand alongside TROLL 2, THE ROOM and NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER as one of the greatest bad movies of all time? Will we ever get an explanation as to why it is called MIAMI CONNECTION when its set nearly entirely in another city? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this many times before but I’m going to say it again: is it too late for me to not watch this film?

I’m not even a whole minute into this film and it’s already so gloriously ‘80s.

Fedoras, mullets, tank tops! Oh, my!

I don’t know why ninjas are riding around on motorbikes. Is the whole point of being a ninja is to be complete stealth?

Also I add to that, I don’t a white dressed ninja is going to help with hiding in the shadows either.

I like how these drug dealers are dressed like they just stepped out of Michael Jackson’s “Beat it” music video.

Whoa! The violence in these scene is pretty intense! Some dude just had his arm completely chopped off!

“You all forgot the most important thing: money!” Which is the same thing said when they were coming up with the budget for this film.

*Cue cheesy ‘80s music*

WHOA! Did fire just come shooting out of the bad guy’s hands!

I don’t know if this is just me, but this night club owner looks a bit like Jeff Daniels.

Here’s the heroes of our film, everyone: Dragon Sound. Their songs are… Wow.

I don’t know how it’s possible to fit every clichéd lyric about friendship in a single song, but Dragon Sound found a way.

It’s nice to see John Oates front his own band when he isn’t working in Hall & Oates.

Oh, ‘80s computers. They are such… Advance technology.

Umm… Why does one of the members of Dragon Sound look like a grown up version of the creepy teen from Larry Clark’s KIDS?

Wow… I’ve seen a lot of scenes that act as basically exposition dumps, but this scene between John & Jane may be the most massive and awkwardly put together one of all time.

I like how Jane’s bad guy brother rolls up with his entire gang to pick her up from school.

Oh, geez. Jane’s brother Jeff really doesn’t like bass players.

You know, bad guys. There is such as overacting.

I like how the night club owner knows martial arts too for… No apparent reason.

What is Jeff’s problem with Jane hanging out with Dragon Sound? It doesn’t make sense.

Jane is singing a song with Dragon Sound called “Against The Ninja”. They aren’t being subtle with their song titles, aren’t they?

I swear the night club owner has the same haircut as the Dad from NO RETREAT, NO SURRENDER.

I like how the members of Dragon Sound keep playing their instruments even after the song has finished.

Yeah… This rival band’s reaction to Dragon Sound taking their spot at the night club is a little overblown to say the least.

Fight! Fight! Fight!

I like how everyone knows how to do martial arts.

Well… That epic scene was over pretty quick.

So… All the members are orphans and one of them (Jim) is trying to tack down and reunite with his long-lost father… Jim is going to die during this film, isn’t he?

Oh, my God. Jim’s big emotional scene about his Dad may be one of the most hilarious things I have ever seen 🤣

Well, since this is an ‘80s film, we’re definitely due for a scene with the characters at the beach and lots of gratuitous shots of butts.

Ummm… isn’t it a bit dangerous driving on the beach?

I like how these women on the beach want Tom to leave but they just pushing him into each other lol.

Geez, both Jeff and the leader of the rival band look EXACTLY alike. It’s seriously hard to tell who is who since they look very similar.

You know for people who are meant to be college students, all the members of Dragon Sound look as though they are around 50 years old.

Slow… Mo… Fight… Training…

Geez, this training scene with Dragon Sound is awkwardly done.

Every time the members of Dragon Sound see their leader Mark walk into a room.

Oh, man. I don’t know how it’s possible, but these line readings from the cast are even more flatly delivered then they are in THE ROOM.

OH, GEEZ! That guy’s shorts are way too short! I can almost see what he had for lunch two weeks prior.

I like how this film just throws random fights scenes in for no particular reason are all.

I like how the message of this whole film is that Taekwondo is the best and it’s going to bring the world together.

I don’t know why these people at the gym are working out in the dark but whatever.

You know what? I really love the fact the bad guy Jeff’s main motivation for doing what he is doing in this film is that his sister Jane is dating a bass player.

Well, it’s been 5 minutes since the last one, we’re due for another martial art fight scene.

Geez, Jeff’s chest is hairy. It’s like he’s wearing a woolly sweater insert that tank top.

Don’t ask me why, but I love how the leader of the rival band just keeps saying ‘SON OF A BITCH!” constantly. It’s hysterical how he delivers it! 🤣

Hey, I didn’t know Kid Rock was in this film.

Geez, these cops are pretty lazy.

You know for a film called MIAMI CONNECTION, why does it take place entirely in Orlando?

Brace yourselves, everyone: gratuitous boob shots are coming.

One of the biker’s just literally mooned the film. I’m not joking.

Yeah… We’re spending way too much time with this biker gang.

I like how the everyone in Dragon Sound is reading and writing in the dark.

Seriously, this film has the least intimidating bad guys of all time. That’s makes it hilarious 🤣

Oh, no! The bad guys have kidnapped John Oates! Woops I mean Tom. That’s why I meant.

My eyes are deceiving me. There are TWO Kid Rocks!

Geez, Jane. Tom was only in the other room and you barely looked for him.

I like how with all of his henchman are being taken down all around, Jeff is just sitting there like, “whatever”.

Ahhh, Mark… I think you just murdered that guy because that was a pretty bad cut you gave him on his neck.

Whoa!!! Where did Jeff get those weapons from?!

Well, that’s the end of you and your hairy chest, Jeff.

I don’t know about anyone else, but ninjas clearly need to make a massive comeback in modern cinema.

I’m just front going to say it right now: Jim is the best *actor* in the whole film.

So… Jim is all dressed up and finally going to meet his long-lost father. This is going to end well.

You know for someone who’s brother was straight up killed by her boyfriend, Jane is taking this rather well.

Once again, ninjas riding around on motor bikes defeats the purpose what a ninja is supposed to do, guys.

Well… That was a weird camera angle. I barely saw anything.

NOOOOO! Not Jim! He has so much to live for!

Oh, Jim. Stop your complaining. That cut is barely but a scratch.

So… Much… Blood…

Oh, man. Mark & John’s reactions to Jim being badly hurt are hilarious.

Ummm… Where is the action set piece taking place? It started off on a bridge and now it’s basically in the jungle.

I’m not sure why the head white ninja just decapitated his henchman’s head off. Makes no sense.

I don’t know if it’s just me, I think that the white ninja’s stunt double is a white dude.

I think how this entire sequence is played very serious with the acting and the music but it comes across as more hilarious.

Well… Jim’s long father just showed up out of nowhere in this hospital.

Wait, hold the phone! Jim basically was nearly disembowelled and lost a lot of blood from that large cut but the doctor said he’ll be fine and he can go home tonight?! WTF!!!!

I like how nearly all of the members of Dragon Sound are at the hospital except for Jane and John Oates lookalike Tom. Clearly they don’t give a crap about Jim lol.

“I love you, Dad!” I love you, Dad?! Jim, you only just met your Dad for the first time in your life right now!!!

I like how this film ends with disclaimer that says, “If we eliminate violence, we can achieve peace”. Which is good message and all if the ending of the film wasn’t Dragon Sound straight up murdering a clan of ninjas lol.

Well, that’s the end of the film. All I can say that this film definitely lives up to the hype and must be seen. Now someone sign Dragon Sound to a record contract now!

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 69th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out later this February for my 70th edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad films: THE HOTTIE AND THE NOTTIE, MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE II or SUBURBAN COMMANDO. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

– Bede Jermyn

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