Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #20: Left Behind (2014)

Hey everyone! Welcome to my 20th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. It’s 2015 and that means I have another year of even more bad movies to watch. Last month here the SuperMarcey.com, I said I was going to do a special Bad Films Of 2014 in honour of all the crap that was released in cinemas during 2014. I posted up poll with three bad 2014 movies on it and I said that whichever one out of those three had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. It was absolutely landslide for one film in particular! For this instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… LEFT BEHIND! Will I figure if the world was crying out for a remake of a Kirk Cameron? Did Nicolas Cage really NEED money that bad to pay off the tax man? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

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Bede @BedeJermyn

Dear Lord, if you help me by giving me the strange make it through this crappy movie, I’ll be forever in your debt. Amen.

Yep, just what the world needed: a remake of a crappy Kirk Cameron film.

Oh, hi Lea Thompson! Clearly you haven’t had better things to do than to appear in this film.

You know you watching a Hollywood film, when you know that the first Christian you meet is a stereotypical crazy person

Also you know you watching a Hollywood film, when you know that the first Athiest you meet is a stereotypical arsehole

Man, I’m barely 5 minutes into it and this film already wants to offend both believers and non-believers with its characters

LEFT BEHIND

Nicolas Cage has shown up. For some bizarre I’m not surprised that he was casted in this film. But also sad too as well.

Chloe Steele. That sounds like the name that a porn star would have.

I know that Nic Cage only appeared in this film so that he pay off his tax problems, but he couldn’t he have picked a better film?

My God… Nicolas Cage’s hair looks so… Epic. I swear that his hair really is a bird.

“I have a job… Plus I’ve been screwing the flight attendant too!”

This is the most awkward father-daughter conversation ever.

“Where’s your ring?” “Its in my car. I don’t wear it when I fly” BULL… SHIT, Nic Cage! You’re just a horn dog!

“Now excuse me, Chole. I have to go feed my hair. It’s hungry.”

Hey, it’s Nicky Whelan from the Aussie soap NEIGHBOURS! Not that I ever saw that show or anything… *Makes shifty eyes*

Yeah, that is the most unfunniest joke I have ever heard, Nic Cage.

Man, Nicolas Cage must really hate his family if he is going to fly a plane on his birthday. That’s really saying a lot really.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure Christians wouldn’t be happy for earthquakes. This film is making assumptions that are bull crap.

Nic Cage has given his daughter tickets to a U2 concert. He really is a evil arsehole.

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Chloe has found her Dad’s ring in the car. For some reason the reason, the ring is somehow looks 10 times bigger than her

Geez, Nicky Whelan’s flight attendant button-up shirt is so tight that looks like her boobs are going to burst out at any moment.

Man, this score is awful.

For the record: Chad Michael Murray is playing the role that Kirk Cameron played in the original. Not Nic Cage.

Although, that would be awesome if he did. Actually Cage should played every role in this film.

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Wow. Chloe’s brother’s reaction to his present is the most un-enthusiastic enthusiastic response I have ever seen.

Clearly, all the cast members that are vaguely familiar, will clearly be the ones who will be… Wait for it… Left behind! *ba-da-dis*

Geez, Chloe is very condescending and antagonistic to towards her Mum, whose actually really nice.

Dammit, Chloe! You should listen to your mother! She knows that the Rapture is coming!

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Hey, it’s that dude from the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN films! Well, I suppose he needs the money too, I guess.

I know this suppose to be a big budget remake of the Kirk Cameron original, but this looks like it cost $100 to make.

You know what would have made this film better? If the plane that Nic Cage was flying was the same one from CON AIR

What a sec, why am I watching a scene from BREAKIN’? Oh, wait. It’s not a scene from that film. Dammit.

You can tell that the crowd is trying to be enthusiastic for the break dancing, but they don’t really give a crap at all.

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I think that Nicky Whelan based her look on Jenny McCarthy ’cause she looks a lot like her in this film.

Geez, it’s been over 30 minutes and nobody has disappeared yet. Man, the Rapture is sure taking its sweet time.

Chloe and her brother are hugging at the moment. Clearly he’s not going to disappear while they are embrac-oh, wait. Never mind. He did.

… And just like that… They were gone. Yes, I did make a USUAL SUSPECTS reference. I had to dammit!

Whoa! The Rapture only started 30 seconds ago and the world has already gone insane!

Where there going, they don’t need clothes. Yes, that is a play on the last line from BACK TO THE FUTURE… I had too dammit

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One of the passengers on the plane looks like Tom Savini.

Well, that didn’t take too long for everyone to start stealing stuff. People, man. People.

Yeah, I have a feeling that if this happened in real life, I don’t think society would go as insane as they do in this film

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I know that Nic Cage is playing straight in this film, but it would have been more hilarious if he was in crazy mode here.

OH NO! NOT KIMMY! Who’s that?!

Say what you will about God, at lest he was nice enough to take all the children of the world to heaven.

Plus they don’t have to be witness all the really awful performances from the cast. That would be evil.

Hey, those dudes on that motorbike stole Chloe’s brother’s bag! What a bunch of jerks!

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This blonde British passenger has the biggest sunglasses on I have ever seen in my entire life.

And she’s shooting up in the toilets. She’s probably using drugs to ease down on her overacting

Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that Jordin Sparks is in this film. Yes, that Jordin Sparks from AMERICAN IDOL.

You know, all the people freaking out all over the city is what I imagine what Black Friday is like in America

So… the Rapture has taken most of the people on the planet, except for the clearly devout religious Muslim on the plane…  Okay.

Yeeeaaaaahhhh… There’s something clearly not right about that. What are you trying to say, movie? Huh?

Oh, no! There’s an unmanned jet heading straight towards Nic Cage’s plane!

Man, the CGI in this scene is pretty weak on so many levels

Not only has the Rapture taken most of the world’s population, it has also shut down all radio frequencies as well.

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HOLY CRAP! That was the most unexpected, violent and WTF smash cut to another scene ever! o_O

I won’t spoil what happens. But seriously, it has to be seen to be believed! Somebody put it on YouTube! o_O

RUN CHLOE! That dude has a big bloody shotgun!

Of course the passengers think the only Muslim on the plane is responsible for what’s happening. You racists!

Look! There’s a gremlin on the wing!

Chloe is breaking into a hospital. I don’t know why she just go through the front door but whatever.

Now that all the children in the world are gone, who are Brad and Angelina going to adopt now?!

Man, the green screen in this film is bad. Not THE ROOM level bad, but it’s still pretty bad nonetheless.

The plane! The plane! The plane is on fire! The plane! The plane! The Plane is on fire!

Hmmm… I wonder what this film would have been like if Werner Herzog directed this? It would have been insane.

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You know despite the rapture, things could have a lot worse for everyone on Nic Cage’s plane. They could have been attacked by snakes.

You know what? I bet Nic Cage and the cast must have really envied Lea Thompson was only being the film for 5 minutes

Man, these plane scenes are boring. Where’s a Sharknado when you need one?

See Chloe! You should have been listening to your Mother! She knew what was going down but nnnnoooo… You didn’t listen.

Whoa! Chloe just threw a Bible straight through a glass window! I didn’t think it was strong enough to do that.

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Yeah, sure, Jordin Sparks. The Rapture is one big master plan by your ex-husband just so he could take your daughter. Dumb arse.

That Blonde British woman kind of looks like Lady Gaga. If she wasn’t a weirdo and wore meat dresses.

Maybe I am crazy?” You are, Jordin Sparks. For agreeing to appear in this film.

“We don’t know what happened here today, but I know it wasn’t Katie’s fault” It was actually Crab People who did it.

Yeah, that’s a good point, Nic Cage. How did your wife know that the Rapture was coming? She must be psychic.

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“He took them to protect them!” “Protect from what?!” From appearing in the sequels, Chloe! THE SEQUELS!

“What about the rest of us? What about me?!” Well… Maybe God just doesn’t like you. Plain and simple. You are a bit of a pain in the arse. Sorry.

I like how this film sets up some back story with some of these characters, but completely forgets about it 5 seconds later.

Go on, Nic Cage! GO COMPLETELY CRAZY! YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO! GIVE IN TO IT!

“Were you with her? When she got the tickets? “Yeah, she was hurt” Yeah, why did you get her tickets for U2. That’s evil.

“I shouldn’t have left her today” I guess you can say that, she was… Left behind? *BA-DA-DIS*

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You should be sorry, Chloe. You’re were mean to Lea Thompson dammit!

“Dad, I thought you dead?” “No, but my career as a serious actor is though”

I swear as this film keeps going on, Nicky Whelan’s flight attendant shirt just keeps getting tighter and tighter and…

Did Nic Cage just sound like the Swedish Chef from THE MUPPETS just now?

Who would have thought that a phone app would be the thing that would potentially save Nic Cage’s plane.

Yeah, I bet Nic Cage wishes that he did THE EXPENDABLES 3 instead of this film. Or being any other film than this one for that matter.

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You know Nic Cage, landing your plane probably would be a lot of easier if you just used your Ghost Rider powers or somethin

“Okay, we’re coming down! Do you see anything?” “Nothing except for those guys rocking this fake cockpit back and fourth”

Yeah, this scene with the plane landing would never happen in real life.

Yeah! They’re alive! They’ll be able to see the Armageddon now!

“You did a great job” Wow… You barely emoted with that line reading, Nic Cage.

“It looks like the end of the world” “No, not yet. It’s only the beginning” That’s code for sequel, folks.

Well, Nic Cage, his daughter and the passengers have survived the Rapture, but now they will have to face Armageddon.

Although, I bet Nic Cage is hoping and praying that the Armageddon won’t unleash his most greatest enemy of all: the bees!

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 20th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in February for my 21st edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad films: GLITTER, HIGHLANDER II: THE QUICKENING or SCARY MOVIE 5. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

– Bede Jermyn

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