A Live Blog Commentating on The ‘Entourage’ Finale by G-Funk

**Booting up the episode.**

Man, the writing in this show has gotten sloppy during the past two seasons. I am SO tired of the E/Sloan romance. It’s been off and on again so many times it is completely beyond believable. Dropping the pregnancy sub-plot is not only obvious but lazy. Obviously they’re all going to pack in Hollywood and move back to New York at the end, thus negating everything they have worked for during the past eight years.

Drama and Vince have completely run their potential character arcs into the ground already, Turtle has had a fairy tale ending, only Ari has anything interesting left to watch. His story could go different ways.

This new love interest for Vince is the laziest thing they have ever bothered casting. She’s got no personality traits AT ALL, the only defining feature she has is that she doesn’t fall for Vince’s charms. Obviously he’ll win her over in the last episode, but who’s going to care? She’s nothing more than a concept.

**Opening Credits**

Surprise wedding in Paris, what the fuck? When did I start watching the umpteenth season of ‘Friends’. Man, that couldn’t have been introduced any worse. It’s almost like they had a 20 episode arc planned out, then just skipped the middle dozen.

Ok, so Ari’s hit rock bottom, that’s interesting at least. Now that he’s done that we can see his redemption. Now who the fuck are these guys? Random cameos, are they just churning out everyone who was on the waiting list for guest appearances? It must be embarrassing NOT to have been on ‘Entourage’ at this point.

Man, this is badly written, they’re just rushing through the plot resolutions. Feels like they have a list of boxes to tick off and they’re working through them. So both E and Ari forgot to shave, what deep thought they put into showing their emotional states.

Why the hell did they think that sending Drama and Turtle round to Sloane’s house would make any sense at all? They really are just making this up as they’re going along.

So where is Vince’s girl? At this point I’m half expecting her to turn out bound and gagged in the trunk of his car as he talks about their ‘wedding’. Why hasn’t she been seen yet? Odd.

So I guess a few people had one last episode left in their contracts, they seem to be dragging out as many bit parts as humanly possible. Pretty sure Terrance, Billy and Scott Caan have nothing to contribute today.

Bloody hell, did Lloyd get shafted in this episode. At the last minute they cobbled together a story for his final scene but were too busy snorting coke to write any dialogue for him, so they gave his the brief and just had him read it out loud. Poor Lloyd.

So Ari has redeemed himself. I like that his daughter was the catalyst in that, since he’s the only character they seem to bother writing these days.

Now they’re at the airport, and overplaying the emotion. Could you have crow-barred in the ‘hug it out’ line any more awkwardly? It’s only been six years since you last heard it, seems perfectly natural they’d say it now. Then suddenly it ended. Not even a decent closing shot of the planes exiting down the runway? Maybe just everyone sitting in the cabin in quiet contentment? Hollywood fading into the distance behind them? Something?

Back to the earlier point – so they’re just packing it all in and moving back to New York? Why did their sudden desire to make movies dry up? Why did the writers bother having Vince and Drama overcome their career problems in the final episodes (something, I remind you, the show is ABOUT) for them to pack it in now? All the career goals that we’ve seen them strive towards over the past eight seasons have just been rendered moot. Especially since they used to tout the return to New York as being synonymous with their failure in L.A. Suddenly it’s an act of redemption for them to give up on the movie industry, and the TV show Drama had worked so hard for, and go home.

Sure, it was for love, but as I’ve already said this new love interest is NOT a character beyond being a girl who Vince cannot charm. Normally in these circumstances the character would have to undergo a change to become a better person for them (much like Ari just did), but that didn’t happen. Vince acted like a total nutbag and showed her a video compilation of all the girls he’s banged (you can be in the next version!) which somehow won her over. Wait, what?

Now a cutesy little end-credit gag where Ari is tempted to the dark side. Amusing, yes, but totally negates the redemption that the character has been building up to this entire season. Good job, assholes.

Final message to the ‘Entourage’ writers: fuck you. You couldn’t have done that worse without making it a clip show.


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