Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #98: Driven

Hey, everyone! Welcome to the 98th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. If you may remember in the previous edition of this column last week, I posted up poll with three bad movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this 98th instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… DRIVEN! Is this one of the worst films that Sylvester Stallone was involved in? Did this film try way too hard to be the next DAYS OF THUNDER? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this a billion times before but I’m going to say it again: is it too late for me to *not* watch this film? #Driven

Just for record: I absolutely know nothing about car racing (Formula One, IndyCar, NASCAR etc.). That being said, I don’t think the people behind this film know anything about it either. #Driven

Oh, hi Til Schweiger! Don’t worry, you’ll be on a good English language film in 8 years with INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS. #Driven

I like how we’re not even 5 minutes into this film and it’s throwing so much story at us already. #Driven

Oh, man. The filmmaking style is quintessentially early 2000s big budget film that it’s not even funny. #Driven

Also speaking Estella Warren, I’m going to say this again since I already said it in the two other films that starred her that I covered for this column PLANET OF THE APES (2001) and KANGAROO JACK: remember when Hollywood tried to make her a thing? Yeah, me neither. #Driven

Oh, man. This first car racing scene is shoddily put together. I have no idea what Renny Harlin was going for here. #Driven

Oh, hi Sylvester Stallone & Butt Reynolds! Legends. #Driven

I like how this film advertised as being the leads of this film despite when in fact, they are actually supporting characters. Kip Pardue is the real lead of this film. #Driven

Speaking of which, remember when Hollywood tried to make Kip Pardue into a thing? Yeah, me neither too. #Driven

Man, this soundtrack is a mess. Just like the film. #Driven

So… Many… Close… Up… Shots… #Driven

Hello, Gina Ghershon… *Re-ow* #Driven

Renny Harlin is directing this film like he was Michael Bay. Harlin I dig your work, but only Bay can do Bay. That’s just a fact. #Driven

I have no idea why Sly is driving around the track but whatever. #Driven

Look out, Sly! There’s a CGI coin on the road! #Driven

OMG there’s a Nu Mental band at this night club! So early 2000s. #Driven

Sly is playing pool with one of a reporter named Lucretia. I smell a romance coming. #Driven

Kip Pardue & Estella Warren are at the bar chatting to each other. It’s like two pieces of wood acting off one another. Their performances are wooden. #Driven

Hello again, Gina. #Driven

I like how even though his best friend Memo is married to his ex-wife Gina, Sly is still very much best buds with each other. #Driven

As I stated before since I’m not familiar at all with IndyCar racing, I have no idea what is going on right now. #Driven

Come on, let’s all admit it. The only reason anyone goes to go see a car racing event is because they want to see someone crash. #Driven

It needs to be stated… Burt Reynolds has the greatest mo of all time. #Driven

Well, Estella Warren & Kip Pardue’s relationship has moved pretty quick. #Driven

Man, I’m over 40 minutes into this film and outside of Sly, I don’t care about any of these characters. #Driven

I swear the soundtrack/score hasn’t stopped at all during this film because I don’t recall any quiet moments at any scene so far in this film so far. #Driven

Hey, DRIVEN! TOP GUN called and they want their ‘couple riding on a motorcycle’ scene back! #Driven

My God! The soundtrack just DOESN’T STOP. #Driven

It really has to say something when the first THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS film has more subtlety than this film does with its car racing scenes. #Driven

BOOM! Kip just went straight into a wall! In reality, no one would survive that. #Driven

Holy shot! Did Kip’s brother just insinuated that Estella is a ‘slut’? Wow… #Driven

Seriously… Gina really hates Sky’s guts in this film. #Driven

Wait, Kip has never been on vacation? Ever? I don’t believe that for a minute. #Driven

I like how Gina basically playing her character Crystal from SHOWGIRLS in this film. #Driven

*Sigh*… Of course the drama at the center of this film is the love triangle between Kip, Estella and Til. Of course it is. #Driven

Wow… Kip & Estella have been in a relationship for a while now and after having 5 minute convo with her ex Til, she drops Kip and goes back to him. Again, wow. #Driven

So… Kip has stolen a race car from this party with Sly going after him in the other one and they’re now driving recklessly around the city. Umm… You know what get somebody killed with those things, right?! #Driven

Now this scene feels like it is out of a FAST AND FURIOUS film. Surprisingly… It’s even more over-the-top! #Driven

Yeah… You would think after all that, Sly and Kip would be arrested but nope! #Driven

Ahhh… yeah… I think comparing faith as a metaphor to contagious disease doesn’t really hold up with today’s pandemic climate, Sly. #Driven

We’re gonna need a montage! MONTAGE! #Driven

Uh, oh. It’s beginning to rain… This definitely doesn’t bold well for the race. #Driven

I like how most of the film’s soundtrack is just a bunch of songs from band Filter. #Driven

WOW! That car went flying! #Driven

Oh, damn! That was one very long and epic crash for Memo! #Driven

See Kip & Til? Your dumb arse rivalry almost got someone killed. #Driven

Uh, oh. Oil is leaking from Memo’s car and there is a tree on fire near by. This doesn’t look good. #Driven

Why the hell is there a swamp in the middle of a race track? #Driven

Oh, geez. 2001 CGI was so bad. #Driven

About time the rescue teams showed up. #Driven

Sly & Memo is the bromance is all us men deserve to have. #Driven

Damn. That car of Memo’s had only one day left until retirement. #Driven

I think that the real reason Burt Reynolds agreed to star in this film was because he got to sit in a wheelchair all day. #Driven

I would feel for what Kip is going through right now but he is such a whiny little baby, that I just don’t care. #Driven

Damn! Estella just knocked out Kip’s backstabbing brother! #Driven

Yeah… There’s way too much soap opera style melodrama in a film that’s set in Indycar racing. #Driven

I know that this set in the car racing world it’s a given that it would be there but still, there’s a lot of product placement in this film. #Driven

Yep, it’s true. A soundtrack like this could have only have existed in 2001. #Driven

Oh, geez. There’s still 20 minutes of this film left. #Driven

Fatboy Silm’s song “Right Here, Right Now” is playing on the soundtrack now? Okay, this film gets a bit of credit just for that. #Driven

Oh, man. Those CGI racing cars are so bad. #Driven

Yeah… As someone who is not into car racing at all, I don’t think anything that happens in these scenes actual happens in real life. #Driven

Geez, Renny Harlin! Calm down on the filmmaking! You’re like someone who has drunk a whole box of Redbull when it came directing this film. #Driven

I’m 100% convinced that a lot of this car racing footage is just reused footage from earlier in the film. #Driven

Oh, wow… Kip won. I didn’t see that one coming. #Driven

Given what Sly is like, I’m surprised that he let Kip win the race and he himself came third. That’s the most shocking part to me. #Driven

Geez, look at the size of those winners champagne bottles! They are huge! #Driven

Well, that’s the end of the film. Yeah, if Sly and co. wanted to make the definitive car racing film, they did not succeed at all. This was not a good film at all. I guess DAYS OF THUNDER is still the victor in this sub-genre. #Driven

I hope you all enjoyed reading this 98th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out next week for my 99th edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad films: BEE MOVIE, THE PEST and TOUGH GUYS DON’T DANCE. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

Article written by Bede Jermyn

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