Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #89: Shocker

Hey everyone! Welcome to the 89th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. As you already know back earliler this month here on, I said that this edition was going to be a special horror themed one in honour of the Halloween season. I posted up poll with three bad horror movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this horror themed 89th instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… SHOCKER! Is this the worst film that the late great Wes Craven ever made? Was this film only greenlit so that it can be another A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET style hit? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I’ve said a million times before but I’m going to say again: is it too late for me to *not* watch this film? #Shocker

R.I.P. Wes Craven. Horror hasn’t been the same with you. #Shocker

I don’t know who this KISS sounding hair metal band is at the beginning, but I dig the song. #Shocker

Ah, SHOCKER. The film which was basically made so that Wes Craven can make another A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET film. That did not work out obviously. Soon you’ll know why. #Shocker

Oh, hi, Peter Berg. Remember when he use to be just an actor and not a filmmaker? I wish he would go back to acting. Not of his work as a director. #Shocker

Peter Berg is football player? Ahh… Foreshadowing his work on the film and TV versions of FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS I see. #Shocker

Peter Berg just went smack right into a goal post. Why do I get the feeling that the film’s attempts at humour are going to get worse from here? #Shocker

I like how the Coach looks like Carl Weathers. Probably couldn’t get him for this film, so they got a lookalike instead. #Shocker

Oh, hi, Ted Raimi! I didn’t realise that you got roped into this film too, huh? #Shocker

So… Ghostly children just walked pass behind Jonathon and his girlfriend Allison. Not creepy at all. #Shocker

Is it just me or does Allison look like Kate McKinnon? #Shocker

Yep, Jonathon. Just walk into a creepy house with its front door wide open. Nothing can go wrong. #Shocker

“Geez, what’s with all the death?” #Shocker

Here is the villain, ladies and gentlemen. Horace Pinker. Man, what a dumb name for all serial killer. #Shocker

“SHUT UP, BITCH!” Mitch Pileggi is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson in SHOCKER. #Shocker

So… It was a dream, huh? Geez, Craven is trying rip-off ELM STREET so bad with this one. #Shocker

Whoa, whoa, whoa! So the dream that Jonathon was real and it was his family that got murdered? Man, this film is going to dark places already. #Shocker

Pretty daring that a serial killer will go and kill the family of the police detective, Jonathon’s dad, that’s investigating him. #Shocker

“Just because I’m you’re father, doesn’t mean I have to listen to this crap.” Why do I get the feeling that Peter Berg gets that said to him a lot? #Shocker

So many TVs. #Shocker

So Jonathon, his Dad and a few other cops go into Horace’s place with any extra backup? Dumbarses. #Shocker

Horace has dead cats hung up around his lair? Yep, it’s official. This mofo needs to die. #Shocker

Yeah… That police sketch of Horace doesn’t look anything like him. #Shocker

Wait, hold the phone! Horace is run from the police and the news stations/papers tell everyone that Jonathon is the prime witness?! My God. You dummies just Jonathon in danger, right?! #Shocker

So… It’s Allison’s birthday today? I’m sure nothing bad will happen to her at all. #Shocker

Remember when TV remotes use to be the size of a brick? Good times. #Shocker

Well, it’s official. Allison may have received the worst birthday present of all time: death. #Shocker

I like how the police just let a random civilian like Jonathon walk around on a crime scene. I know he’s dad is a detective, but still… #Shocker

Damn… That’s a lot of blood. Horace really went all out in his murder of Allison. It’s pretty disturbing. #Shocker

So far there has been two funerals in this film. Two more and a wedding and this film can be classified as a romantic comedy. #Shocker

I like how everyone in this film drives around in old cars. #Shocker

Here we go. Jonathon is dreaming of Horace again. That should have Nancy from ELM STREET randomly show up in a dream sequence and connect these two films universes together. #Shocker

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m pretty sure it must be a conflict-of-interest having the police detective whose family was murdered by a serial killer in change of the case too. #Shocker

Peter Berg is Tom Cruise in SHOCKER. #Shocker

Damn! Peter Berg’s face was pretty close to that spinning air vent. #Shocker

Megadeth covering a classic song from Alice Cooper in this film? Nice. #Shocker

I like how we’re almost 40 minutes and Horace is now just finally put to the death and then becoming a supernatural being. #Shocker

Umm… What the hell is Horace with that TV in his cell? And why did some ghostly entity come out of it and said, “You got it, baby!” #Shocker

Ouch! Horace just bit that guard’s lip really hard. #Shocker

Mitch Pileggi is having way too fun much in this film. #Shocker

Wait… Jonathon & Horace are really father and son?! #Shocker

Man. Electric chair death scene may be one of the most over-the-top scenes in horror cinema… Is what I would say if the rest of the film has yet to come. #Shocker

Horace has been found and he just randomly bursts into flames… Okay. #Shocker

Oh, no. Horace’s spirit can take over peoples’ bodies. Who didn’t see that coming? #Shocker

Ah, waterbeds. Remember when those were a thing too? #Shocker

So… Allison has come back from the dead as a dream spirit to help and guide Jonathon to defeating Horace? You would think this was pretty crazy but given how insane this film, this is the most normal thing in the film. #Shocker

Since in his dream Jonathon has fallen into a bed of water, does that mean it was a wet dream? #Shocker

Horace has taken over the body of a cop and going after and shooting at Jonathon. Someone this is most realistic thing to have happened in this film so far. #Shocker

Can someone explain to me why this film is almost 2 hours? It doesn’t make any sense that it should be. #Shocker

I have a feeling that when Wes Craven made this film, he wanted the tone to always be at 11. #Shocker

I don’t know why Horace would want to change bodies with someone who he just injured badly, but whatever. #Shocker

Horace has now possessed the body of a little girl, swearing up a storm and trying to run over Jonathon with a tracker. Just when you thought this film couldn’t get more over-the-top. #Shocker

I like how even if Horace possess another body, he still has to drag his limp leg. #Shocker

I like how Jonathon’s two friends and his Coach are very accepting of his that Horace is now a body swapping supernatural being now without seeing any proof. #Shocker

“I’ve already got one person I love killed, I’m not going to lose another one” So… You’re murdered foster mother and foster siblings don’t count as “loved ones”, Jonathon?… Wow. #Shocker

Yeah… There’s way too many ELM STREET style dream sequences in this film. #Shocker

You know for someone who’s a powerful supernatural being now, Horace is having a touch time trying to kill Jonathon. #Shocker

Nooooo! Not Ted Raimi’s character! He has so much to live for with his nothing role! #Shocker

Noooo! Not the Coach too! #Shocker

Wait… Did the ghost of Allison just do the Care Bear stare on Horace? #Shocker

Oh, geez. How Horace gets his power back from the power point is just ridiculous. #Shocker

Yes, of course the police would think that Jonathon actually did all the murders. Makes total sense. #Shocker

Oh, no! Horace has taken over the body of Jonathon’s dad! Who didn’t see that event not happening? #Shocker

Yeah, the rock music that’s playing at the moment really feels out-of-tone with this chase scene. #Shocker

Are we close to end yet? Wait… There’s still 25 minutes to go?! Ugh… #Shocker

A chase over on a power tower. Now I’ve seen everything. #Shocker

Oh, man. The special effects of ghost Horace is so bad. They make the film even more cheesier than it is already. #Shocker

Yeah… These news reporters need to be fired. #Shocker

It’s no secret that Wes Craven has made some pretty ridiculous film in his time, but this film may be the most ridiculous one of them all. #Shocker
Hey, David Cronenberg! Oh, wait… That’s not him. Sorry. Although that reporter looks like him though. #Shocker
I like how Jonathon has got his while football team helping out on this mission to capture Horace. #Shocker
I’m starting to think that the only reason that Horace Pinkter became a serial killer was because his parents actually gave him the name Horace. #Shocker
So… Jonathon is going to go after Horace by… Drowning himself in a lake? Okay… #Shocker
Brace yourselves: more wet dream jokes are coming… #Shocker
Wes Craven is trying so hard to make Horace Pinkter the next Freddy Kruger, that it’s not even funny. #Shocker
“Welcome to Prime Time, bitch!” Whoops! Sorry wrong movie and character. #Shocker
Look, Jonathon! It’s all the people that you got killed coming to visit you! #Shocker
Oh, dear God. Horace is a pretending to be a couch. I repeat. Horace *is* pretending to be a couch. Ughhh… #Shocker
Man, all the pun jokes that Horace does in this film makes Freddy Kruger’s look subtle by comparison. #Shocker
I guess you can say this film is… Shockingly bad? Hehehe… I’m sorry. I’ll see myself out. #Shocker
Oh, man. Here comes the film’s most infamous scene: Jonathon jumping into the TV and chasing after Horace throughout all the many TV shows. Buckle up, everyone. It’s all downhill from here. #Shocker
Man, the green screen effects of this sequence is so hilariously bad. #Shocker
Remember when this film started off being a serious serial killer horror film? We’ve come a long way since then. This film has basically turned into a live action cartoon now. #Shocker
I wish I could describe the madness that I’m witnessing right now, but I think you have to witness it for yourself to see how bat shit insane it is. It’s hard to describe it. #Shocker
You know whole situation would have been avoided if Jonathon just called the Ghostbusters. #Shocker
Oh, dear God. Jonathon just stop Horace in his tracks by pausing him still with a remote. PAUSING HIM STILL WITH A REMOTE. This movie, man. This movie. #Shocker
“Hey… WHAT THE FUCK?!” That was also everyone’s reaction after watching this film. #Shocker
Oh, really, Jonathon? You actually care about your foster mother and siblings after being cold about them before? Screw you, man. #Shocker
Ahhh… I’m pretty sure you have to do more than just smash a power box to turn off all the town’s power, guys. #Shocker
With all those special effects, I’m surprised that the film wasn’t made in 3D. #Shocker
I like how despite that his TV is burning, when Jonathon turns off the TV the flames go off too. #Shocker
Yeah, I don’t buy that these towns people would be happy now that the town’s power is now off. #Shocker

Well, that’s the end of the film after what feels like 88 hours. Even though Wes Craven has made so many great films in his time, this is definitely not one of his best that’s for sure. It tries so hard to be the next ELM STREET, that it becomes a jumbled mess. #Shocker

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this special Halloween themed 89thth edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in November for my 90th edition, which could one of the following three bad films: THE CANYONS, COOL WORLD or TEEN WOLF TOO. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on soon!

Article written by Bede Jermyn


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