Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #70: The Hottie & The Nottie

Hey, everyone! Welcome to the 70th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. Apologies for slight lateness of this edition. I was going to post this at the end of March as originally planned but due a bunch of stuff, I didn’t get a chance to do it until now. As you already know last month here on, I posted up poll with three bad movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this 70th instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… THE HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE! Is this absolute worst of all the bad films that Paris Hilton had starred in during the ’00s? Who honestly thought that this was a good idea to make this film? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this many times before but I’m going to say it again: is it too late for me to *not* watch this film?

By the way to everyone who voted for this film in the last poll, I hate you all so much right now. Seriously lol.

Man. Joel David Moore is so not putting effort into this opening narration whatsoever. Can’t blame him.

This woman smashing Joel’s guitar pretty much represents how everyone felt watching this film.

Just so you know, this film came out the same year as great films like THE DARK KNIGHT, WALL-E, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE etc. Let that sink in.

Ummm… I find it a very creepy that the adult version of Joel’s character Nate has the picture of the girl he had a crush on Cristabel when she was a child. Again creepy.

Yeah… I’m sorry but if you still have a crush on a girl from school and you want to go find her, you’re pretty much a stalker.

I don’t know who’s creepier: Nate or Nate’s friend who has an entire folder on Cristabel.

Hey… Remember that time during the ‘00s when Paris Hilton was a thing? That was weird, weird time…

Ummm… Did Nate just sniffs Cristabel’s hair?

Joel David Moore is Shaggy Rogers in THE HOTTIE & THE NOTTIE.

How is possible for a film to come out 11 years ago and feel really dated? I honestly don’t know but this film found a way…

June, our NOTTIE of the film, has arrived. Yeah…

I’m find it very upsetting just how the filmmakers have gone out of their way to make her look ‘ugly’, and at her expense too. It’s just mean.

Fun fact: Paris Hilton’s aunt is Kyle Richards, who played Lindsay Wallace in HALLOWEEN (1978). Sadly, Paris wasn’t able to get her acting talent though.

I find it very ironic that Nate’s friend and his friend’s mum are making fun of June’s looks despite the fact they themselves aren’t the best looking as well.

Ummm… Is it just me or is it that every time Paris talks, it looks like she’s been dubbed over.

You know what? It would be nice if, I don’t know, everyone treated June with a little bit of dignity. Which would be nice.

June’s just went flying into her date’s mouth. There’s no lows that this film will go.

What is up those weird looking figurines in Cristabel’s house. Their faces are done in the style of a kid’s drawing.

Oh, Nate & Cristabel. Despite what you say, you’re both terrible people.

Ummm… Are Nate and his friend psychologically/psychically torturing the guy they hired to date June in an electric chair? This is disturbing! 😬

Oh, please! Stop licking that ice cream that way, Cole! That’s gross!

Wow! That little mime who was being mean to June just got knocked out by that guy. Good.

Wow. The actor who plays “Johann” is giving Paris Hilton a run for her money in the un-acting department.

Yeah… Nate’s friend is insufferable.

You know despite what the opening credits say, I don’t think anyone actually directed nor wrote this film.

Why did we have to see that sight of Nate’s friend Arno on the toilet taking a crap? We honestly didn’t really need too.

Yeah… You know what the worst kind of bad movie is? One that’s just… So… Absolutely… Boring. Which is exactly what this film is.

Hey, hey, hey. Calm down low budget C-grade Jack Black clone.

As terrible as this film is, you can tell that Christine Lakin is giving a performance that’s better than this film deserves.

Nate just kissed June. I don’t know for sure but I have a feeling they might end up together in the end…

Okay, I give Nate credit, he’s Speed Racer costume is kind of cool.

Paris is wearing a wedding dress. Yeah, that’s never going to happen.

Ummm… Did Paris Hilton fart?

Okay, Nate. You can’t be angry with Johann for finally revealing his true colours with June when you were doing the EXACT thing as well.

Oh, so… Paris Hilton didn’t actually fart earlier, it was in fact a whoopee cushion. Oh, thank goodness for that!

The actor who plays Johann reminds me of Dolph Lundgren. Except without any of the charisma or talent.

“Stalk is such a big word” Nah, that’s pretty much you were doing, Nate.

So Nate has just realised that he was in love with June the entire time. Who didn’t see that coming?

Once again, Christine Lakin is better than this film deserves.

Well, Nate & June get together and the film immediately cuts to black. Yeah, I think even the film knows that it’s crap and knows that everyone wants to get out of the film fast.

Well, that’s end of the film. Once again to everyone who voted for me to watch (or this case… again) and live tweet this film for my column, I hate you all so much right now.

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 70th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out later this April for my The Cannon Group themed 71st edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad Cannon films: THE APPLE, BOLERO or HERCULES. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on soon!

– Bede Jermyn


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