Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #67: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2 – Uncle Eddie’s Island Adventure

Hey, everyone! Welcome to my 67th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series! As you already know this month here on SuperMarcey.com, I said that this edition was going to be a special Christmas themed one since we’re in December. I posted up poll with three bad Christmas films and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this 67th instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION 2: COUSIN EDDIE’S ISLAND ADVENTURE! How is this a real film and why does it actually really exist? Who’s idea was it actually make a spin-off sequel to one of the beloved Christmas comedies of all time? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this before but I’m going to say it again, is it too late for me to *not* watch this film?

So… This film is a sequel and spinoff to the third film of a five film franchise… Okay, I think I’ve got cross eyed over how confused I am from what I’ve wrote.

You know what? I’m not even 3 minutes in and I can easily see why this spin-off sequel was made for TV.

I don’t know why Third’s friend just said “Is he a nuclear scientist?” that way? That live reading was weird…

Oh, hi Fred Willard! I see that you needed money really badly to appear in this film.

You know how I can tell that Eddie’s boss isn’t a real scientist? He just called a Chimpanzee a monkey. A *monkey*…

It doesn’t surprise me that Eddie lost his job to an Chimp. Clearly the Chimp is the smartest creature that got roped into being in the film.

Why is Eddie dressed up like he just came from the set of THE BRADY BUNCH?

Ahhh, Eddie… Those old timey pyjamas aren’t very flattering. Please get rid of them or burn them in a fire.

Umm… I’m pretty sure water doesn’t come shooting out if the handle falls off in the bath but okay.

Where is most of this water spraying from? It’s shooting out from certain angles where it shouldn’t be.

Oh, geez. I think they wasted more water in this scene than James Cameron did when he made TITANIC.

Eddie just got bitten on the arse by a Chimp and his arse up in the air as he’s getting examined by the doctor. Ugghhh…

12 year old Third looks like Ben Shapiro… Now.

“I’m going to kill myself” Don’t worry, Audrey. We all thought the same too after watching this film.

If I have to give this film credit one thing, is that they brought back the original actress who played Audrey in the first VACATION film. Although it does the running gag of having new actors play the Audrey role in each VACATION film.

Ummm… Why doesn’t Eddie have a metal plate that can zap bugs in his head?

I know that Randy Quaid has gone completely crazy in real life over the pass few years, but I would not surprise me at all if this film was the thing that sent him over the edge.

Oh, hi Ed Asner! You must be in need of a pay-cheque too, huh?

I know that you’re sad Ed Asner but don’t you worry, you star in a much better Christmas film in 2003 with ELF.

The family dog is farting for no reason. Somehow I feel that this is metaphor for the entire existence of this film.

You know how you know that this was a very low budget production? They use the EXACT same room for both the airport entrance and the metal detector scenes. It’s really hard not to notice this.

Wait, hold the phone! Eric Idle what the hell are you doing here?! I know you had a cameo in EUROPEAN VACATION but still! Did they kidnapped your family and force you to be in this film? Seriously blink if you need help!

Nice use of obvious stock footage for the plane landing there.

I like how Eddie wears his trademark hat despite the fact that they are in Hawaii.

Ummm… Uncle Nick? What are doing to the tour guide? That’s just really creepy 😬

Oh, no. Brace yourselves, everyone: a bad stereotypical Aussie character is coming.

Okay, this obvious Aussie stereotype gets a slight pass since his name is Melbourne Jack.

Dear, movie. Can you please stop Randy Quaid wearing undies or really short shorts and framing them in certain angles where it looks like can see what he had for lunch the week before. It’s gross!

Oh, my God. The green screen work in this boating scene makes the same stuff in THE ROOM look realistic by comparison.

Oh, man. The CGI is also absolutely atrocious too.

Oh… My… God. Uncle Nick has become a full on sexual predator towards the tour guide Muka. This is just incredibly disturbing and wrong on so many levels now in hindsight with that has happened over the pass year 😬

Clearly the wardrobe people didn’t do a good job on this film. All of Randy Quaid’s costume look so tight and constrictive on him.

I like how it’s pretty obvious on this beach scene that all the plants and trees in the background totally not from there.

OMG! Randy Quaid close your bloody legs! I think I saw your testicles through those damn short shorts 🤢🤮

Ewwww… This film is full of characters who are either sexual predators or perverts.

You know why the Cousin Eddie worked in the other films? He was a supporting character works in small doses. Having him the lead of his own film just makes us realise how truly annoying of a character he is.

It’s amazing that despite being trapped on deserted island, Eddie’s bright white shirt has no dirt on it whatsoever.

The dog is randomly pissing in things for no reason. Again another metaphor for this film.

Shut up! Shut up!! SHUT UP!!!

This hunting scene between Eddie and the wild boar would have been way better if it was the same boar from RAZORBACK.

It has to say something that Randy Quaid has more dignity in NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE than he does here.

It’s amazing that after two days stranded on the island, Eddie and the family hunted down a boar and building a house.

“I’ve got no place to go but up” Ooo… Foreshadowing Ed Asner’s role in UP, huh? Who would have thought that this film could tell the future.

Ed Asner has dressed up as Santa Claus. Again don’t worry, Ed, you will play Santa Claus in a much better Christmas movie with Elf.

Wait, hold the phone! Was that the sound of an elephant? IS THIS FILM TELLING ME THAT THERE ARE ELEPHANTS ON THESE DESERTED HAWAIIAN ISLANDS? My brain is breaking!!!

Seriously, how are Eddie’s white clothes still clean?

Umm… Did Eddie say that he put sunscreen in that drink?

I like how the film is so tired of Eddie that they turned up this song really, really, REALLY loud so it can completely drown out his monologue.

Well… Their bamboo house didn’t last for too long. *Yawn*… What a shock.

Ummm… Why is Eddie having a dream about being in a B&W silent film of TARZAN and-oh, my god! Randy Quaid is loin cloth! EWWWWW!!!

Oh, here we go. That Australian stereotype has come to save the day.

So… Melbourne Jack has told Eddie and the family that there was a motel on the other side island. Who didn’t see that coming?

Ummm… I think Eddie just tried to kill Melbourne Jack 😬

So… Eddie and the family have gone from being trapped on an island to possible being in a plan crash. I hope it does.

Yeah… Air Traffic Control isn’t really doing much to help Eddie land the plane. Than again, they probably want them to. I don’t blame them.

Wait, Muka is the wife of the guy that broke up with Audrey at the beginning of the end? Oooo! This is some juicy drama going on now.

Dammit, Randy! Keep you’re damn shirt on!

Aunt Jessica has shown up. Who?

That traumatised air traffic controller’s terrified reaction to seeing Eddie is the same one that everyone had after watching this film.

Hey, Eddie! The ‘70s called and they want their clothes back!

Oh, geez. Cousin Eddie has decided to become a pilot. He’s going to be the most ill-advised person to be in charge of a plane since Denzel Washington’s character from FLIGHT.

Well, that’s end of the film. All I can say about it is… I have seen what Hell looks like and it’s called NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION 2: COUSIN EDDIE’S ISLAND ADVENTURE.

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this Christmas themed 67th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in late January for my special bad films of 2018 themed 68th edition, which could one of the following three bad films that were released during 2018: GOTTI, THE HAPPYTIME MURDERS or SHOW DOGS. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

– Bede Jermyn

 

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