Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #62: Theodore Rex

Hey, everyone! Welcome to my 62nd edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series! As you already know earlier this month here on SuperMarcey.com, I posted up poll with three bad movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this 62nd instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… RTHEODORE REX! Was Whoopi Goldberg basically blackmailed into doing this film? Is this really one of the worst dinosaur related films ever? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this many times but I’m going to say it again, is it too late for me to *not* watch this film?

I seriously can’t believe New Line Cinema produces this film. I seriously can’t lol.

Ahhh… If this film is suppose to be a buddy cop/murder mystery film? Why does it tell us who did it and why they did it right off the bat with the bizarre opening narration?

A B&W scene that has a little bit of colour in it? Take PLEASANTVILLE and SIN CITY! This film one of the first to do that before you!

Oh, my God. The animatronic puppet of Theodore Rex is hilariously bad. Seriously, the mouth movements don’t even match his voice lol.

So… Since Theodore is a T-Rex and they biologically have very short arms as he does here, how is he able to get his clothes on?

Poor Whoopi Goldberg. The look that she has on her face every time she is onscreen pretty much tells us that she doesn’t want to be in this film. Shes not even hiding it.

BLADE RUNNER: The THEODORE REX Cut.

What the hell is up with Bud Cort’s character in this film? He’s absolutely bizarre.

I don’t know what type of cop uniform Whoopi is wearing, but I’m pretty sure no cop would ever wear that.

Is it just me or does Whoopi’s partner look like Bob Odenkirk?

My favourite parts of this film is whenever Theodore is opposite a human character, the actor has a look on their face that says, “I’m sharing the same scene with *that*?!”

Oh, hai doggie!

“I’m not good with surprises.” “Especially if it’s a law suit that forces me to star in a film called THEODORE REX.”

Richard Roundtree! Sadly not even the presence of the original John Shaft can save this film.

Oh, hi Armin Mueller-Stahl. Don’t worry your career will get back on track a few months after this film with SHINE.

Dammit, Theodore! Stop eating all the cookies or Arnold Schwarzenegger will be upset!

You know I don’t think it was hard for Whoopi to get into character as an annoyed and pissed off cop. Those were the emotionals she was already feeling when she was forced to be in this film.

Yeah, sorry. It’s not mystery if we already know who did it and why. So this whole investigation that Theodore and Whoopi have been assigned to is just pointless for us as an audience.

Ahhh.. Did Theodore just have an orgasm while touching the body of that dead dinosaur? 😳

Oh, man. That dinosaur is talking but it’s mouth isn’t even moving 😂

A vegetarian T-Rex? Now I’ve heard of everything.

Okay, Theodore just went completely psychotic all of a sudden. That’s completely came out of nowhere.

Oh, geez. There’s a dinosaur singing a song on stage at this night club. The mouth movements don’t match up with the song at all, it’s hilarious 😂

Whoopi has gone into hysterical laughter. Yep, this film has mentally broken her so much that she snapped.

Wait… Dinosaurs have a telepathic link with each other? Okay…

I don’t know about anyone else, I think Bud Cort is channelling Truman Capote with his character’s voice in this film

So… Bud Cort’s henchmen’s tactic to stop Theodore’s involvement with this case, is to spray his car with shaving cream? Okay…

Oh, geez, Whoopi. Don’t ask Theodore if has a gun. If he did have one, he wouldn’t be able to reach for it due to his short arms.

Ahh… I think something is wrong with the Theodore puppet ‘cause eyes went completely wonky after he went psychotic again.

I like how after Whoopi says, “You can’t judge a Dino by his scales”, she literally looks right at the camera in disgust 🤣

Wait, there’s a machine in the future that can magically change you’re clothes? Geez, the future is lazy.

Oh, dear. Theodore is wearing a stereotypical Mexican costume and he’s doing a bad accent to boot. This is starting to get a little racist 😬

I like how Theodore is looking for clothes that’ll help him look like an undercover cop, are basically the exact same clothes that he’s been wearing in the film prior to this scene lol.

So Whoopi & Theodore’s new cop car is garbage truck and the only way for Theodore to fit in it, is to get in the back with the rubbish. Somehow this is symbolic of the whole film.

Is it just me or did Stephen McHattie base his look in the film on Michael Wincott’s look in THE CROW? Cause they look very similar.

Hello, Juliet Landau… *Re-ow*

I like how Juliet Landau is just plain rude to Whoopi for no apparent reason and then Whoopi just throws it back in her face lol.

Wait, a minute! Hold the phone! The Chiodo Brothers of KILLER KLOWNS FROM OUTER SPACE fame did the puppet effects for this films?! My God… 😱

I honestly have no idea what’s going on in this funeral scene.

Man… Those dinosaur costumes who have been an absolute pain in the arse to walk around in.

Umm… I don’t know about anyone else but Theodore and Molly Rex dancing around and flirting in this scene is disturbing me on many levels.

Wait… Did Theodore and Molly just get engaged?! Geez, that was quick. They give Adriana Grande & Pete Davidson a run for their money.

There’s a character in this film called the Toymaker? Please, please, please let him be played by Mickey Rooney.

Wait! Stop! Hold the bloody phone! Whoopi’s character is part robot?! WTF! That’s bolt out of the blue! It’s comes completely out of nowhere.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I want a spin-off film that’s on the Guy In The Bag puppet.

I think this scene with the Toymaker would be 10 times better if all the little puppets were all the ones from the PUPPET MASTER series instead.

“It’s a hairy hot dog!” That’s what she said.

Ahhh… Why is Theodore doing impressions of Schwarzenegger, Stallone and Nicholson? On second thought, don’t answer that.

Whoopi & Theodore? Why are you taking literal baby steps away from that bomb? Bloody run, dammit!

Theodore is interrogating the Toymaker by farting long and hard on him… Yes, this is actually happening.

So… Why did the bad guys kidnap that teenage friend of Whoopi’s? There’s no reason for it to be honest.

Again, what’s the point of this kid being there again?

Whoopi & Theodore just crashed in a plane into the bad guy’s lair. That crash pretty sums up this entire film as well.

Oh, man. That CGI missile looks horrid lol.

Whoopi Goldberg: action star.

I know that Juliet Landau is doing a British accent but it clearly doesn’t sound like one at all.

Hey, Bubbles the Chimp! Okay, isn’t but I’m going to pretend that it is.

“I’m so ill” I bet any money that’s what Whoopi said everyday during this shoot.

Holy shit! The bad guys shot Whoopi and her robot body is shooting off sparks! This is unexpected.

I like how the bad guy’s car just simply exploded after it went through that sigh.

Ewww… That creepy dinosaur from the club earlier is back at this ceremony to look at Whoopi.

“Katie, I think this is beginning of a beautiful friendship” “Nope! I’m done with you and this movie. Bye!”

I like how the film just ends with a title card that simply says “See Ya”.

Well, that’s the end of the movie. Well, I can tell you one thing: I can definitely Why New Line Cinema decided to release the film in straight-to-video instead having it play in cinemas now.

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 62nd edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out later in August for my 63rd edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad films: BEVERLY HILLS COP III, CADDYSHACK II and MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE II. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

– Bede Jermyn

 

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