Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #56: The Emoji Movie

Hey everyone! Welcome to my 56th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series! Once again I’m sorry that I didn’t post this online much sooner. The pass few weeks have been pretty busy for me. Now with that out-of-the-way, it’s 2018 and that means I have another year of even more bad movies to watch. Back in January here on, I said I was going to do a special Bad Films Of 2017 in honour of all the really awful films that were released in cinemas throughout 2017. I posted up a poll with three bad 2017 movies on it and I said that whichever one out of those three had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. It was absolutely landslide for one film in particular! For this instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… THE EMOJI MOVIE! Is this really the worst animated film of all time? Who thought it was a good idea to make a set around emojis? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve already said this many times before but I’ll say it again, is it too late for to *not* watch this film? It is? Great *Sigh*

T.J. Miller is doing the film’s opening narration… Yeah… I’m not even going to go there.

Here’s a question: what’s one sure-fire way to date your film? By having it about emojis.

Oh, man. I’m only a few minutes into this film and I think I’ve every lame joke and pun in the history of mankind.

Okay, I will admit that if you going to have someone be the voice of a meh emoji, you could do worse than Steven Wright. Yes, *that* Steven Wright is in this film.

Well, I know that the theme of being true yourself and not be what society says you should be is a good message, did it have to be used in a film like this?

So many bad obvious jokes.

I wonder how much Patrick Stewart was paid to do the voice of Poop? I bet it was a LOT.

This film is what I imagine THE LEGO MOVIE would be like if it wasn’t funny… Or creative… Or didn’t have a point.

Yep! Leave it to T.J. Miller to be the cause of so much destruction.

While there is a lot of things I can criticise about the film, one of them definitely isn’t Maya Rudolph. You can tell that she’s at least fun as the film’s villain ‘Smiler’.

Just when you thought that T.J. Miller would be the most annoying person, here comes James Corden to show him up in that department.

Yeah… This film is the longest and unnecessary commercial for the iPhone ever.

WEEKEND AT BERNIE’S: The Emoji Edition.

“What would a teenage boy want to hide from his parents?” The fact the he saw THE EMOJI MOVIE?

Oh, Anna Faris! The studio must have paid you a lot as well to be in the film too, huh?

Really, movie? Really?! You’re going to have a sequence that’s basically advertisement for CANDY CRUSH?! Ughhh…

Wait, did Hi-5 just try to eat Gene?! Cannibalism!!! 😱

Man, those so much product placement in this film that it makes all of Michael Bay’s entire filmography look tame by comparison.

Me every time James Corden is onscreen.

I don’t know why watching a scene that takes entirely in the game JUST DANCE. I just don’t know.

I’m not going to lie: I’d rather watch Christina Aguilera give a more livelier performance in BURLESQUE than this film.

You know that if this film was set in real life, everyone would have left James Corden stuck in the trash bin than going back to save him.

Why is Sofía Vergara in this film? She’s basically playing a nothing character. What a waste of her talent.

Okay, the film has now become a commercial for Spotify. This film has no shame at all. I can’t of admire that in a way. Just barely though.

“You came back for me!” Yeah… Unfortunately.

Okay, I have to admit it. This scene of Gene’s parents inside that photo of Paris in the Instagram app (*shudders*) is kind of a nice scene.

Okay, now Gene and the gang are inside Dropbox. I wish I was making this up but … *Sigh*

Wait, did the emoji’s human owner Alex write a letter containing lyrics from the song “Diamonds” by Rihanna to a girl he likes? Geez, kid. Come up with your own material, you plagiarist!

We’re now close to the film’s climax and I honestly do not care about anything that is happening right now.

I feel like this film would be way, way better if Maya Rudolph’s character ‘Smiler’ was the lead of this film.

You know despite all the publicity that it has received, Patrick Stewart is barely utilised in this film at all. Again, what a waste of talent.

Oh… Gene managed to save the day and stopped everything on the phone from being erased. Yeah, I guess?

It’s fair enough that you wanted to save every emoji, Gene but did you have to save Hi-Five? He’s incredibly annoying!

So the film has created a dance craze called ‘the emoji bop’? Yeah, I don’t think that’s ever going to catch on.

Wait, hold the phone! Mike White, *the* Mike White, who wrote the films SCHOOL OF ROCK, THE GOOD GIRL, BEATRIZ AT DINNER and ORANGE COUNTY co-wrote this film?! My God…

Well that’s the end of the film. If I can think of one emoji that would sum up this entire film, it would be this… 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 56th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out later in February for my 57th edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad films: GREEN LANTERN, MASTER OF DISGUISE and MICHAEL JACKSON’S MOONWALKER. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on soon!

– Bede Jermyn


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