Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #43: A Madea Christmas

Hey everyone! Welcome to the 43rd edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. As you already know last month here on SuperMarcey.com, I said that this edition was going to be a special Christmas themed one in honour this month. I posted up poll with three bad Christmas movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken.  For this Christmas themed 43rd edition of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live tweet… A MADEA CHRISTMAS! Did we really need a Christmas film set around Madea? Does the story that Tyler Perry came up with for this film actually make any sense? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

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Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this many times before but I’ll say it again: is it too late for me to *not* watch this film?

It’s funny now that the HUNGER GAMES and EXPENDABLES have finished, Tyler Perry is now LionGate’s only source of income

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“I never had in like this since I was in that pole” Madea use to be a stripper?! This is meant to be a family film, right?

Yeah, why do I get the feeling that Tyler Perry is going to be doing a lot of bad improv in this film as Madea?

So the townsfolk at meeting at this school would rather the school run out of money than shut down their annual Jubilee?

Brace yourselves… Redneck stereotypes are coming.

You know for someone who’s to be playing an old lady, Tyler Perry didn’t really put that make up on as Madea.

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Okay, Madea only just started working at this department store and she’s already being rude to the customers. She so fired.

Geez, this is like the smallest school I have ever seen. This classroom that Lacey is teaching in is the size on a wardrobe. 

Geez, that little girl is such a jerk to that little boy. She must be the younger version Nicole from NEVERENDING STORY III 

Wait, so Lacey doesn’t allow bullying in her class but she put down a couple of students for not having better grades? Okay…

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Ahhh… Why is the Mayor’s office at the school? This doesn’t make any sense. 

How is possible that this film feels more like TV film than all the other films that Tyler Perry directed before?

Once again Madea is being absolutely rude to the customers. How is she not fired yet?

Seriously based on the size of the building, this school is tiny. It looks more like a Bed & Breakfast than a school

Yeah, Lacey’s Mum is doing a really good job of guilt tripping her daughter to come home for Christmas.

I think Madea needs to go to anger classes or something ’cause she seriously wants to choke people.

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Yeah, I have a feeling I’m not going to like Lacey’s Mum. Not one bit. 

Yeah, it’s pretty clear that Chad Michael Murray’s character would be a Trump supporter based on number U.S. flags on his clothes. 

“Eileen, we’ve had complaints about your friend” Yeah, the customers find her jokes extremely unfunny.

So Madea gets fired from her job and then basically robs the place ’cause she hadn’t got her check. Why hasn’t she been arrested still?

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“I am so sorry” That’s what the studio said to the audience members after watching this film.

Oh, Alicia Witt. You’re so talented. Why are you in this film? Did you really need money that bad?

I don’t know how it’s possible but Lacey’s pink beanie is somehow bigger than the rest of her body.

After thinking about it, I suppose that Tyler Perry can get away with so much bad improv since he’s also the director.

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Madea just stumbled across a KKK meeting while travelling to Lacey’s place in the South. No cliché goes unturned.

Although if I was Madea, I would have beaten the absolute crap out of them with their dumb arse hoods. Boo ya!

I will give Madea credit for one thing, she doesn’t put up with Eileen’s guilt tripping crap when it comes to Lacey.

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Lacey’s giant pink beanie is back. Seriously that thing could be seen from outer space. It’s that huge.

Wait… Lacey is married to her farm hand? And he’s white? And her mother Eileen doesn’t know about this? Yeah, I think we know where this is going to go. 

Lacey’s secret husband Connor kind looks a bit like Ryan Gosling. If he lived on a farm in the South that is.

Yeah, this scene of Madea hero trying to get into the car is going on way too long than it needs to be.

So Lacey leaves Madea in charge of her class while she goes to a meeting? Yeah, I’m pretty sure that would never be allowed.

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You know I didn’t think that it was possible for child actors to over-act but this little girl sure does with her Southern accent.

You know for someone who’s suppose to be a church going woman, Madea clearly doesn’t know the story of the Nativity.

I know that’s meant to be played for laughs, but it’s no excuse for more bad unfunny improv from Tyler Perry.

Yeah, the Christmas Jubilee is saved! I’m really surprised that this happened so early in the film.

Yeah, I’m totally convinced that it’s not a school, it’s just some random house to place the town’s kids somewhere.

Madea just crucified a little girl to a wooden cross with Christmas lights… YES, THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING!!!

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So Lacey’s subplot is about how she has to tell her Mum that she’s married? Why does this film have a plot from a sitcom. 

You know how you’re watching a bad film? When Larry the Cable Guy is in the cast.

So Larry the Cable Guy is playing the Dad of Lacey’s husband Connor? Yeah, I don’t see the resemblance.

Kathy Najimy: underrated bad arse.

Wait, Connor’s parents are open minded and tolerant Southern rednecks? That’s actually a nice bit of going against the cliche there, movie.

Wait, did I just give this film a positive point? *Shudder* Now I feel so dirty.

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Larry the Cable Guy has only been onscreen for like a few minutes and he’s already told about a million inappropriate jokes

Tyler Perry and Larry the Cable Guy doing really bad jokes in the same scene is like a bad car crash that I can’t look away from.

Oh, man. I’m not a PC person by any means but there’s so many un-PC humour in this scene that it’s uncomfortable.

Is there a running gag in this film that nobody can say another person’s name correctly? ‘Cause that won’t get old very quickly.

I don’t know how it’s possible, but Lacey’s Mum Eileen gets more and more horrible as the film goes on.

Eileen accidentally cuts down the memory tree of the father of Connor’s Mum and she’s not being apologetic for it at all? What a total jerk!

OH, DEAR GOD NO! Larry the Cable Guy is doing a scene shirtless! MY EYES HAVE BEEN SOILED!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!

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Ahh… Larry. I don’t think it’s a good idea to put a white sheet over you while playing sex games with your wife.

See what I mean, Larry? Eileen has walked in and now you’ve made things awkward for everyone.

Yeah, the humour in this film feels like it belongs in a bad ’80s TV sitcom than an actual film.

Geez, Lacey. Stop being push around by your mother and stand up to her. Madea has more of a backbone than you do.

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I swear Connor’s Mum has said “This brings back so many memories” at least 40 times so far in this film.

You know it has the say a lot when Eileen is a bigger jerk than Chad Michael Murray’s redneck a-hole.

Wait, Connor thought that bull was cow?! And he tried to milk it too?! Oh, dear God, movie! You did not just go there?!

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Oh, no. Tyler and Larry are doing some more bad improv again.

Yeah, the word ‘nipple’ has been uttered way too many times in this scene.

Yep, the scene ends with a joke about cow crap. That’s brilliant comedy right there.

“They’re trying to take Christ out of Christmas” Oh, no. Here we go…

I honestly can’t tell if Tyler Perry is making fun of the whole ‘war on Christmas’ controversy or not. I honestly don’t know.

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Once again, Chad Michael Murray is being an absolute tool. Poor Lacey. She didn’t deserve to be fired from the school.

Oh, for crying out loud, Eileen! Can you stop being an absolutely tool as well! You’re making Madea look tame by comparison.

Yeah… The tone in Tyler Perry’s films can be so uneven. His juxtaposition between comedy and drama is just so jarring.

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Finally! Lacey had told Ilene that she and Connor are married! We can finally get this stupid subplot done! 

“Lacey… Your father…” “I know. He was killed by a white man” Wait, WHAT?! DID I HEAR THAT CORRECTLY?! WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?! 

And he was killed in Christmas Eve too?! This IS an absolute bolt out of the blue! This wasn’t even set up at all!

Wait, stop, hold the phone! Lacey’s Dad wasn’t killed by a white man?! That was a lie?! My God…

Also Eileen lied to Lacey about having heart attacks as well?! Holy shit! Eileen is truly evil! She’s a total straight up monster!

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Geez, all these soap opera style plot twists wouldn’t be out-of-place in Perry’s more serious films. Its just jarring here.

I like how Madea keeps calling Eileen the devil. Based on her actions, she deserves it too.

Question: is it possible that a film can be ‘un-directed’? ‘Cause that’s what Perry’s direction feels like in this film.

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Oh, man. Eileen and Chad Michael Murray’s character Tanner, the two biggest jerks in the film, are finally together at last in a scene.

Eileen is trying to get Tanner out of his crashed car before it catches on fire. Oh, man. I hope it blows them both up.

Dammit! Eileen just saved Tanner in the nick of time. This film deprived us all of a Christmas miracle by getting rid of these two.

Lacey (Tika Sumpter) and Conner (Eric Lively) in TYLER PERRY’S A MADEA CHRISTMAS. Photo Credit: KC Bailey

I think everyone who has ever disliked Chad Michael Murray definitely got some satisfaction from seeing him getting punched out by Connor.

Geez, after everything that has happened, Eileen is still a condescending jerk. Even when she’s trying to be nice too.

How on earth is it possible that Tanner has had more of change of heart than Eileen has? You’d think it would be the opposite.

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OMG Sweet Brown a.k.a. The ‘Ain’t nobody got time for that’ woman is being interview by reporters! What a weird cameo.

Nope! Spoke too soon! Antoine ‘hide yo kids, hide yo wife’ Dobson is being interviewed as well!

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Yeah, this corporation really doesn’t really want this town to have a nativity scene for their Christmas Jubilee.

Nice to black mail the Sponsors to do what you want, Lacey. That’s totally not going to come back to bite you someday.

Well, I suppose it wouldn’t be a Christmas film if there wasn’t cheesy sentiment at the ending.

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Ahh… Where’s Madea? She’s has basically vanished in this last scene.

I agree with someone said on Twitter recently, you know how a comedy is bad? If it plays outtakes during the end credits.

Well, that’s the end of the film. I’m sorry Madea but bah humbug to you and to this film too!

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 43rd edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out next month for my very special bad films of 2016 themed 44th edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad 2015 released films: DIRTY GRANDPA, GODS OF EGYPT or WARCRAFT. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

– Bede Jermyn

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