The Super Network

Hey everyone! Welcome to the 34th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. I’m sorry that this edition of the series wasn’t posted at the end of March as it was originally intended. It was suppose to but I went on holidays over Easter and as well as catching on some things when I got back, so I didn’t get a chance to post it until now. As you already know last month here on SuperMarcey.com I posted up poll with three bad movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this installment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… RHINESTONE! Was casting Sylvester Stallone as a country singer really the best idea in the world? Are Slyvester Stallone and Dolly Patron the most mismatched onscreen couple of all time? Read on and find out! Enjoy

Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this many times before, but is it too late for me to *not* watch this film? #Rhinestone

Yes, when I think if New York City, I totally think of it being the capital of country music. #Rhinestone

As much as do love Dolly Parton, her music doesn’t really fit the night life of New York. #Rhinestone

I don’t know why there is a cowboy wearing white satin sparkles on horse out front of a night club, but it was the ’80s so… #Rhinestone

I don’t know why a giant white car just pulled up at the same club too but again, it was the ’80s so… #Rhinestone

Wow. Looks like Dolly isn’t the only woman showing off a tonne of cleavage in this club. #Rhinestone

Uh, oh. Brace yourselves, people. ’80s Japanese stereotypes are coming. #Rhinestone

How don’t know how Stallone’s character was hired as taxi driver. He’s a complete maniac behind the wheel. #Rhinestone

Man, Dolly’s hair in this film is huge. It’s even bigger than the rest of her body. #Rhinestone

Hey, sleaze bag! The ’70s called and they want their SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER suit back! #Rhinestone

I love Dolly. She’s a complete bad arse mofo. #Rhinestone

Yeah, if I were boss of a taxi company, I would have fired Sly after 5 minutes based on his driving in this film. #Rhinestone

Alan Arkin! Oh, wait. That’s not him. Looks like him though. #Rhinestone

Geez, there’s a lot, and I mean A LOT, of really over-exaggerated facial expressions in this film. #Rhinestone

So many over-exaggerated facial expressions. #Rhinestone

This Alan Arkin looking country singer may be the most bizarre country singer of all time. #Rhinestone

You know how you know you’re watching a ’80s film? ‘Cause the plot invokes two people making the worst bet ever. #Rhinestone

I don’t know what why crazy homeless guy is taping drumsticks on the road. I guess, it’s the ’80s? #Rhinestone

Where did Sly get his driving lessons from?! GRAND THEFT AUTO 5?! #Rhinestone

I know that Dolly’s boss is named Freddy, but I’m just going to call him sleaze bag instead. #Rhinestone

It’s official. When I grow up, I want to be as bad arse as Dolly Parton. #Rhinestone

Sly Stallone is Steve Guttenberg in RHINESTONE. #Rhinestone

OMG… Sly’s character thinks he’s a *trend setter* when it comes to fashion. Yeah… Maybe for hobos or something. #Rhinestone

I’m trying to figure out who has the biggest hairdo in this film: Sly or Dolly. It’s hard to say, they’re both pretty big. #Rhinestone

What the hell kind of apartment is Freddy living in? He’s got some weird blowup dolls things on his wall! #Rhinestone

Wait, does the letters on Freddy’s door say F U?!   #Rhinestone

I don’t think I’ve heard the word *organ* said out loud so many times in the course of 20 seconds than I have in this film. #Rhinestone

The Extra in background behind Sly & Dolly in this scene may be the best actor in the entire film. #Rhinestone

OMG Sly & Dolly are still taking about *organs*. This is some A grade comedy right there. #Rhinestone

Oh, no. Sly is singing “Tutti Fruiti” on the organ. This may be the most terrifying thing I’ve seen. #Rhinestone

No… No… My ears… My poor ears… Make it stop… MAKE IT STOP!!! #Rhinestone

Sly’s funeral parlour owning Dad looks like the Tall Man from PHANTASM. It wouldn’t surprise me if they are the same character. #Rhinestone

Oh, on. Brace yourselves: 80s Italian stereotypes are coming. #Rhinestone

I like how Sly’s Mum thinks that he is complete dumb arse lol. #Rhinestone

Oh, man. Sly’s clothes get more and more ridiculous as the film goes along. #Rhinestone

Most. Awkward. Handshake. Ever. #Rhinestone

I like how all the townsfolk from Dolly’s hometown think that Sly is *dim-witted*. This is going to be a hilarious running gag. #Rhinestone

Why is the town’s band singing a song about *too much water*? #Rhinestone

Sly is about to sing again… No… No… NNNNNOOOOO!!!!! #Rhinestone

OMG Sly’s singing is so terrifying that it’s literally making dogs howl and children cry. #Rhinestone

“That was scary, son” That may be the most accurate critique of Sly’s signing in this entire film. #Rhinestone

No, Sly’s singing again for a second time in this scene! AAAHHH!!! #Rhinestone

I like how the only country song that Sly knows is “Old McDonald Had A Farm”. #Rhinestone

“First thing a cowboy needs to learn is his horse” Cut to: a cow. Ahh… I’m pretty sure a cow is not a horse. #Rhinestone

OMG Sly is wearing an ugly shirt that has pictures of cameras on it. #Rhinestone

Seriously, Sly has some of the worst t-shirts I have seen in a film. #Rhinestone

Note to self: never call Sly a bum. That’ll upset him. #Rhinestone

Yeah, Sly’s dress sense really doesn’t fit in with this bar at all. #Rhinestone

“I like my beer really foaming” Ahh, mate. There’s more foam in that glass than actual beer. #Rhinestone

“So what’s it like to use heroin?” Wow. That’s one question I don’t think any normal human being would ever say. #Rhinestone

Just because Sly is from the city, it doesn’t mean he knows how to use heroin. Stereotype much, cowboy? #Rhinestone

Sly just woke up next to a whole bunch of ducks. It could be worse: he could have woke up next to a cow. #Rhinestone

I like how Sly pronounces music as *musak*, not music. He’s from the city, so that’s how they talk. #Rhinestone

Oh, dear! Sly is wearing the worse outfit in the ENTIRE film. It’s hilarious lol! #Rhinestone

Oh, no. Sly is singing again! Why must this film keep torturing us?!!! #Rhinestone

I don’t know why Sly’s cowboy hat has two raccoon tails attached to it. I just don’t know. #Rhinestone

Dolly’s ex-boyfriend kind of looks like Sam Elliott. Minus both the moustache and coolness of course. #Rhinestone

I don’t know how it’s possible, but Sly has more costume changes than Dolly does in this film so far. It’s bizarre. #Rhinestone

I’m starting to believe that Matt Le Blanc based his character of “Joey” from FRIENDS on Sly’s character in this film. #Rhinestone

You know I never thought that I’d ever say this, Dolly is more of a bad arse than Sly is in this film. #Rhinestone

Please Dolly. Don’t try to help Sly how to sing. It’s a loss cause. #Rhinestone

Oh, no. I sense a forced romance between Sly & Dolly going on. #Rhinestone

I swear Dolly’s hair has not moved an inch during this course of this film. I think it might be made of plastic. #Rhinestone

I like how Sly is nervous to go up on stage to sing when he had npo problem singing in front of a lot of people PRIOR to this scene. #Rhinestone

Oh, geez. Not again… Sly is singing again!!! No!!!! #Rhinestone

I think it’s kind of cruel that Sly & Dolly are doing a duet right now. It would be like having Mariah Carey sing with a blender #Rhinestone

You know Dolly is the superior singer ’cause she’s basically drowning out Sly. Honestly, I have no problem with that. #Rhinestone

After watching Dolly be a complete total bad arse in this film, Sly should cast her in THE EXPENDABLES 4. No joke. #Rhinestone

I will admit Sly singing has gotten better as the film has gone along but that being said, it’s still pretty terrible. #Rhinestone

Sly sounds like a drunk every time he sings. #Rhinestone

Awww… Sly is having a nice one-on-one time with Dolly’s Dad. Not awkward at all. #Rhinestone

I like there was a time in Hollywood who thought, “You know who’d make a great onscreen couple? Sly Stallone & Dolly Parton” #Rhinestone

It totally makes perfect sense when you think about it. #Rhinestone

This kissing scene between Sly & Dolly may be one of the most awkward scenes I’ve ever seen. #Rhinestone

Not only does Sly’s Mum think he’s a dummy, he’s Dad thinks he’s a total screwup. What a supportive family. #Rhinestone

Oh, man. Sly’s character is so full of himself, that he thinks Dolly is jealous of his singing. #Rhinestone

Well… This is the most awkward couple fight in front of a family scene in the history of mankind. #Rhinestone

You know what? I can sit and listen to Dolly Parton sing for hours. She’s just completely awesome. #Rhinestone

No! Don’t call of the bet, Dolly! That means you’ll never leave that sleaze bag Freddy! #Rhinestone

Oh, dear God. Just when I thought Sly costumes can’t get anymore outrageous, they just keep getting more and more so. #Rhinestone

Seriously, the one he’s about to sing with may be the most ridiculous one yet. Even more so than the one with raccoon tailed hat #Rhinestone

OMG that sleaze bag Freddy has turned into the real life version of Quagmire from FAMILY GUY. Seriously, I’m not joking! #Rhinestone

Red alert! Red alert! Get out of there now, Dolly! Run away! #Rhinestone

Oh, man. Sly is now riding on a horse to go save Dolly. No, I’m not making any of this stuff up! #Rhinestone

What the hell type of bathrobe is Freddy? It looks bizarre. #Rhinestone

Between Sly and Dolly’s boss Freddy, it’s like a competition to see who is the worst dressed person in this film. #Rhinestone

You know what’s funny? The way the hecklers are acting towards Sly is exactly the same as the everyone who has watch this film. #Rhinestone

Whoever came up with the idea for Sly to do he’s own singing in this film, was definitely on drugs when they thought of it. #Rhinestone

I hate to say this but why didn’t get Frank Stallone to dub over Sly’s singing voice? At lest Frank can actually sing. #Rhinestone

I honestly have no idea what Sly is saying in this song. It’s sounds like he’s mumbling through out it. #Rhinestone

Wow… Sly’s costume is so shiny and sparkly that it’s literally causing J.J. Abrams style lens flare on the camera. #Rhinestone

Sly isn’t even singing the song, he’s just shouting it. #Rhinestone

So many sparkles. #Rhinestone

Why must Sly keep singing?! Will this nightmare ever end?! AAAHHH! MAKE HIM STOP!!! #Rhinestone

Well, that’s the end of the film. Thank God, Sly’s music career never took off. Luckily we were spared that absolute terror. #Rhinestone

Also if they ever do a remake of this film, I think they should cast Jason Statham and Taylor Swift in the Sly/Dolly roles. #Rhinestone

Can you imagine Statham and Swift dueting on this classic?

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 34th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out later in April for my special The Cannon Group themed 35th edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three Cannon produced bad films: BREAKIN’ 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO, SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE and THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE 2. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

– Bede Jermyn