Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #28: All About Steve

Hey everyone! Welcome to the 28th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. As you already know last month here on SuperMarcey.com I posted up poll with three bad movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this installment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… ALL ABOUT STEVE! Is this worst film that Sandra Bullock has ever been? Is this romantic comedy really a horror film? Read on and find out! Enjoy

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Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this many times in the past but I’m going to say it again: is it too late NOT to watch this film?

Seriously, I’m not even joking. Please didn’t let me watch this film again. I’m begging you! Pppplllleeeeaaaasssseeee!!!

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The film has only just started and I thinking punching myself in the face would be better than watching this film.

Why are there so many talented people starring in this film? Didn’t they have anything better to do than appear in this crap.

Oh, hi DONNIE DARKO’s Dad!

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Oh, my God. Sandra Bullock’s character has only been onscreen for 5 minutes and she may be the most annoying character ever

I know I should sad that these kids are picking on Sandra Bullock’s character but they are the real heroes on this film.

The first 10 minutes are trying SO hard to make Mary sympathetic but nope! It’s not going to work! She’s still annoying!

No, Mary. You can never be normal. It’s ’cause you’re a monster!

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Bradley Cooper has just arrived. Poor dude. He had to appear in this crap before he could get anything better.

Bradley Cooper’s character Steve has only met Mary for 5 seconds and you can already see the terror in his eyes.

Geez. They haven’t even driven off to their date yet and Mary is already jumping his bones.

Okay… I’m terrified now.

Mary Horowitz (Sandra Bullock) thinks she|s in love with cable news cameraman Steve (Bradley Cooper). Complicating things is the fact that he thinks she~s crazy!

The terrified state that Bradley Cooper is feeling right now is exactly what I feel watching this film.

DRIVE, BRADLEY! DRRRRIIIIVVVVEEEE!!!!

I don’t blame Steve to fake a crisis to get of his date with Mary. I would be the same as well.

Okay, if somebody uses a guy she barely dated for the basis for a crossword puzzle, I’d start calling the police sat.

I know I should feel bad for Mary losing her job at the paper but nope, I don’t. She deserved it!

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So during some news footage, Steve focused his camera on a woman’s boobs… Okay… That’s sleazy.

I wonder if Mary’s parent realised that they raised a psychopath in the making?

I don’t see the point of this news scene with Thomas Haden Church, Ken Jeong and Cooper. It’s pretty uneventful.

I like how everyone on the bus really wants to kill Mary. I don’t blame them.

As far as I’m concerned everybody who isn’t Mary in this film, is the hero of the story.

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I like how Mary automatically thinks that every truck driver is a serial killer.

Yeah, as much I know I should feel bad for saying this but that truck should run her over.

Oh, geez. Mary thanks the truck driver for not raping her… *sigh*.

Ummm… This is supposed to be a romantic comedy right? There is nothing remotely romantic or funny about it.

You know it really has to say something when Ken Jeong is the least annoying person in the film.

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Please… Stop… This is hurting me…

Steve has spotted Mary… RUN, STEVE! RUN!

Mary’s face as he is running to Steve in slow motion is the face of pure evil.

The chemistry between Sandra Bullock and Bradley Cooper is really awkward. I feel bad for the both of them.

A protest group for the saving of a baby’s third leg? Now I’ve seen everything. No, I’m not making this up.

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Is the film insinuating that protesters don’t understand big words? That’s… Kind of insulting.

I know that I should hate Steve ’cause he is a jerk but… At lest he’s not a terrifying as Mary.

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Oh, hi D.J. Qualls!

Yeah, this film is making it very clear that protesters are really dumb.

Mouth pillows? Did Thomas Haden Church just called Sandra Bullock’s lips mouth pillows?

You know what? I think that’s very appropriate that they use JAWS-esque music whenever Mary walking towards Steve.

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Yep, it’s official: Mary is the scariest character ever put on film. Even more so than Hannibal, Dracula and Freddy

There goes that JAWS-esque music again.

When are people going to start taking Steve seriously?! Mary is a stalker! Somebody call the police!

Geez, Mary! You’ve only met Steve for 5 minutes! He’s not the love of your life!

How can anyone like Mary? She’s annoying!

D.J. Qualls makes sculptures out of apples. Okay, then.

Ahhh… Why is Mary in the desert all of a sudden? She was heading towards a city before!

Oh, man. I really hope that Mary gets sucked up into that tornado.

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Just like Mary and her *friends*, I’m are looking at disaster too.

Oh, no. Deaf kids just fell down. This not going to end well.

Steve’s reaction to seeing Mary in the desert is exactly the same as everyone who has ever watched this film.

No, Mary. Using your crossword puzzles as metaphors for your philosophies is not going to make any less terrifying.

Ummm… Why isn’t the police or anyone stopping Mary from walking through that bordered off area?

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Mary just fell down into a hole… THERE IS GOD!!!

Mary went back into the hell for which she came. Humanity is saved!

How could Mary not have seen that hole? It was pretty bloody big. It’s a bit hard not to notice it

Oh, great. Mary is still alive. I don’t know how she could have survived that fall but whatever.

Oh, please. Let there be some monsters down there so Mary can be eaten.

Wait, there’s still a deaf kid down in that well?! Geez, that rescue squad didn’t do a pretty good job, didn’t they?

Mary is being very condescending to that deaf kid.

Oh, geez. Even in letter form, Mary is still bloody annoying!

Well. That’s a very flattering picture that the news using for Mary.

No, no, no! Mary is not a hero! She’s a villain!

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Wait… What are you doing, Steve? No… YOU’RE DEFENDING HER?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

This is a complete 180 compared to how Steve felt about Mary 5 minutes ago.

This is weird. Ken Jeong is not as annoying as he is in other films.

What the hell is this sad ballad that’s playing right now?

No, movie. You’re not going to make feel sorry for Mary! IT’S NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN!

Even though she can’t hear Mary, I think that the Deaf Girl is starting to get terrified of her too.

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Wait, everybody is starting to like Mary? WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH ALL OF YOU?!

NOW OF THIS MAKES ANY SENSE! AM THE ONLY SANE ONE ONE HERE?! YOU’RE ALL INSANE!!! INSANE I TELL YOU!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! \

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No! It’s not your fault that Mary is in the hole, Thomas Haden Church! You are a true hero to all humankind!

Please… Somebody… Put me out of my misery… I CAN’T TAKE THIS MOVIE ANYMORE!

“Well, life is like a crossword puzzle…” Nope! That line is not going to catch on, movie!

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Stop cheering for Mary, people! She belongs down that hole!

Please don’t fall in love with Mary, Steve. Please don’t fall in love with Mary, Steve. Please don’t fall in love…

I’m starting to believe the crowd that’s cheering for Mary are just as insane as she is. It would explain EVERYTHING!

Somebody please send all these people to the loony bin!

Well, that’s the end of the film. I am 100% convinced that ALL ABOUT STEVE is not a comedy, it’s a straight up horror film!

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 28th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in late October for my special Halloween themed 29th edition, which could one of the following three bad horror films: THE HAUNTING (1999), PROM NIGHT (2008) or THE WICKER MAN (2006). Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

– Bede Jermyn

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