Hey everyone! Welcome to the 27th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. As you already know last month here on SuperMarcey.com I posted up poll with three bad movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… GYMKATA! Was it a good idea to come up with a new fighting style that combines gymnastics and karate? Doe the film even have a plot at all? Read on and find out! Enjoy!
Bede @BedeJermyn
Once again the MGM Lion is warning me to stop watching this film #Gymkata
From the director of the most famous martial arts films of all time ENTER THE DRAGON comes… This… #Gymkata
I like how the first 5 minutes of this film is just a shot of a handle bar. #Gymkata
Well… The back-and-fourth between these two separate scenes is really… Odd. #Gymkata
Ahhh… Am I watching the right film? ‘Cause I think I may have accidentally put on TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES III by mistake. #Gymkata
That bad guy with the bow and arrow has some pretty epic hair. #Gymkata
There’s a lot of slow-mo being used for these gymnastics scenes. Zack Snyder must have directed this part of the film. #Gymkata
OMG The lead star of this film Kurt Thomas looks like a blond Mark Wahlberg
#Gymkata
I’m only 5 minutes into this film and I honestly have now idea what’s going on. #Gymkata
Seriously, whats going on?! There’s so much exposition in this first couple of minutes that’s becoming very confusing. #Gymkata
So is Kurt Thomas a gymnast whose also a special agent? Or is he training to be one? It doesn’t make any sense #Gymkata
I think Kurt Thomas’ character may have multiple personality ’cause he’s having conversation with himself while doing back flips #Gymkata
No, I’m not making any of this up. #Gymkata
The sexual chemistry between Kurt Thomas and the Princess is so non-existent that you can’t cut it with a very blunt knife. #Gymkata
Speaking of knifes, the Princess just pulled one out. She’s not messing around that’s for sure. #Gymkata
It’s pretty clear in this love scene between Kurt Thomas and the Princess that she’s never massaged anyone in her entire life. #Gymkata
This Colonel that both Kurt Thomas and the Princess are meeting looks a lot like Lucifer. Cleary he’s not a bad guy at all. #Gymkata
I seriously can’t get over how Kurt Thomas looks exactly like Mark Wahlberg. It’s really scary. #Gymkata
I like how the Princess presses that spring-loaded knife weapon even after when the Colonel told her not to 10 seconds earlier. #Gymkata
Oh, man. Kurt Thomas is wearing the ugliest jumper I have ever seen. #Gymkata
I like to think that the Peasant threw that water in Kurt Thomas’s face ’cause he’s jumper is terrible. #Gymkata
Shoot that poison arrow through my heeeeeaaaarrrrrtttttt!!! #Gymkata
Yeah, it’s pretty clear in these fight scenes that while Kurt Thomas knows gymnastics, he definitely doesn’t know karate. #Gymkata
Ahh… Where did Kurt get that jacket from? #Gymkata
I’m just going to put it out there: Kurt Thomas may be the greatest actor in all of cinema. #Gymkata
I just like how there are randomly handle bars around the city so Kurt Thomas can use them to fight people. #Gymkata
Kurt Thomas just accidentally kicked the crap out of an innocent bystander. What a jerk! #Gymkata
I honestly think that the bad guys want to kill Kurt Thomas ’cause he’s wearing that wearing that awful jumper. #Gymkata
Man, the fight choreography in this film is so laughably bad. #Gymkata
Man, these bad guys are worse shooters than the Stormtroopers from STAR WARS. #Gymkata
Yeah, this chase scene going on way longer than it needed to be. #Gymkata
So the Lucifer-looking Colonel was actually a bad guy this whole time? Wow. I’m totally in shock right now. NOT. #Gymkata
Meanwhile on the set of TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES III… #Gymkata
Why are Kurt Thomas and the Princess whitewater rafting down a river? I’m confused. #Gymkata
But to be fair, this whole film confuses me. #Gymkata
Geez, where’s Meryl Streep and Kevin Bacon when you need them in this whitewater raft scene? #Gymkata
These ninjas look like they’ve dressed up as the Klu Klux Klan. Except they’re dressed in black instead. #Gymkata
Every time Kurt Thomas punches or kicks someone, they sound they make much sounds 10 times louder than a shotgun blast. #Gymkata
Wait, the actor who plays the bad guy Commander Zamir is Australian? Okay, this film is actually getting better now. #Gymkata
Is it just me or does anyone else think that the King looks like Sonny Bono? #Gymkata
Geez, some of these contestants in the Game are pretty old. There definitely not going to last that’s for sure. #Gymkata
What the hell kind of hat is the King wearing on his head? It looks like a dead animal. #Gymkata
Oh, man. The acting from these *extras* are hilariously awful! #Gymkata
Once again, I still have no idea what’s going on with this film’s plot. #Gymkata
Oh, great. Now this film is ripping off a scene from the original PLANET OF THE APES. #Gymkata
None of the rules in the *Game* make any sense to me. #Gymkata
Did they just reused another shot from earlier just now but they flipped it the other way? It looks like they did. #Gymkata
Yeah, you can easily tell that guy who fell down onto the rocks are clearly a dummy. They don’t even bother to hide it #Gymkata
Some dude just put a needle through his face at the banquet scene. Yeah, I’m not sure why either. #Gymkata
I like how the crowd is barely enthusiastic at all every time they have to do the cheering scenes. #Gymkata
Geez, Kurt Thomas. It isn’t that hard to emote. #Gymkata
Geez, Zamir. Cove up your muscly chest. Who do you think you are? Khan? #Gymkata
You know your film has bad acting in it when even the extras are terrible. #Gymkata
“I’m Zamir and I like to take my shirt off” #Gymkata
If they ever remake GYMKATA, they have to cast Mark Wahlberg in the Kurt Thomas role. #Gymkata
Seriously, I think Kurt Thomas and Mark Wahlberg are the exact same person based on how much they look like each other. #Gymkata
Nice to see the film using the same shots that we saw earlier in the film. #Gymkata
Babe! I got you bbbbaaaabbbbeeee! #Gymkata
Geez, the extras aren’t even trying. #Gymkata
I’m starting to think that film only at lest 20$ to make. Maybe even lower. #Gymkata
Why are some of the ninjas have traffic cones on top on their heads? #Gymkata
The bad guys are chasing Kurt Thomas in a corn field. They better look out of the Children of the Corn while there in there. #Gymkata
That dude just got shot in the arse by an arrow. #Gymkata
Yeah, I don’t think a rope can catch on fire that quick. Unless it was dosed in petrol of course. #Gymkata
I like how there are ninjas standing around holding flags for no apparent reason. #Gymkata
The big burly contestant looks a roided up Curtis Armstrong from REVENGE OF THE NERDS. #Gymkata
Yeah, wait until Kurt Thomas is practically on the other side of the ridge before cutting the rope, Zamir. Dumb arse. #Gymkata
Man, the punching sound effects are so loud! #Gymkata
No! They killed the token Asian character that we barely got to know! NNNNooo!!! #Gymkata
You got to give Kurt Thomas credit for one thing. At lest he’s no longer wearing awful jumper anymore. #Gymkata
Ahh, where did that voice over come from? #Gymkata
Why is Kurt Thomas going to same city that we were just at before? Is it meant to the same or a different one? I don’t know. #Gymkata
Oh, hi goat! #Gymkata
Ahhh… Okay… What’s going on now? This is starting to get really creepy. #Gymkata
Kurt Thomas has somehow wandered onto the set of SILENT HILL. #Gymkata
WHOA! A VILLAGER JUST CUT OFF HIS OWN ARM! THIS IS INSANE! #Gymkata
A dog is licking a pool of blood off the street. Not creepy at all… Ahhh… #Gymkata
Yeah, Kurt isn’t a convincing fighter. #Gymkata
What is going on in this section of the film?! It’s literally turned into a horror film all of a sudden! No joke! #Gymkata
Oh… My… God… THERE’S A GUY WITH TWO FACES!!! SERIOUSLY, I’M NOT JOKING! #Gymkata
Seriously, I’m not joking about this. I’m absolutely terrified right now. #Gymkata
WHAT ON EARTH AM I WATCHING?!!! #Gymkata
It’s a good thing that thing that looks a bit like gym equipment is there so Kurt Thomas can do his gymnastic/karate moves. #Gymkata
I like how Kurt Thomas is just going to town on this crazy villagers #Gymkata
Uh, oh. The film is in super slow-motion again. Zack Snyder must have directed this section as well. #Gymkata
*In Mr. Burn’s voice* Release the hounds! #Gymkata
The sound design in this scene is surprisingly scary #Gymkata
This section of GYMKATA maybe the scariest thing I have seen in a long time. #Gymkata
Geez, Kurt Thomas. It’s not that hard to climb up there. #Gymkata
Wait… The ninja that just help Kurt Thomas is he’s Dad?! Whhhaaattt?!!! I thought he was killed by Zamir at the beginning #Gymkata
You know what’s funny? The film is nearly over and I still have no idea what’s going on. #Gymkata
Aww… Kurt and his Dad are nice father-&-son moment. Clearly nothing bad won’t her-oh, wait. Never mind. It did. #Gymkata
Noooo!!! Kurt’s Dad shot by an arrow! But he’s not dad! So… That’s okay. Alrighty then. #Gymkata
So here we go… Final showdown between Kurt and Zamir. Mano to mano. Bad acting to bad acting. #Gymkata
Geez, Zamir likes to keep showing off his glistening chest. I think he wants to be the new Khan. #Gymkata
Well, that fight was… Anti-climatic. #Gymkata
Wow! The villagers are beating the absolute crap out of the ninjas. #Gymkata
Once again, there’s no enthusiasm from the extras. #Gymkata
Kurt won the Game, he has the hand of the Princess, his Dad’s alive and the bad guys have been defeated. Yeah. #Gymkata
Well, that’s the end of the film. If I have one thing to say it woul-wait a sec. What’s that? No… IT’S BASED ON NOVEL?!!!
#Gymkata
NO JOKE! IT’S BASED ON NOVEL!!! MY MIND CAN’T PROCESS THIS!!! AAAHHH!…JFKLJZXCKLJHFKJZhf UIYB FAO-=Q219=4I02\303=9 WXPO;ASDKIFOOO #Gymkata
I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 27th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in September for my 28th edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad films: ALL ABOUT STEVE, GODZILLA (1998) and XANADU. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!
– Bede Jermyn