Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #18: Lost In Space

Hey everyone! Welcome to the 18th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. I’m sorry that this edition of the series wasn’t posted at the end of November as it was originally intended. It was suppose to, but I had family visiting me during the last week of November for my 30th birthday, so I didn’t have time to do my live-tweeting of the film you’ve chosen till just now. As you already know in early November here on SuperMarcey.com I posted up poll with three bad movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… LOST IN SPACE! Is this one of the worst TV-show-turned-into-a-film adaptations ever made? Did writer Akiva Goldsmith really need to go and destroy another franchise after BATMAN & ROBIN. Read on and find out! Enjoy!

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Bede @BedeJermyn

Well… This film just jumps right into its story pretty quickly, doesn’t it?

Wait a sec. If the whole world banded together to save the world, than why are there people why are there still terrorists?

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Yeah, I totally buy Matt LeBlanc as the Major of a military space force. Not.

Why does Matt LeBlanc’s spaceship look like one of those balls that you put mice and hamsters in?

Its funny how ‘cutting edge’ CGI effects back in the 90s look no more different than whats on SyFy Channel right now.

I don’t know what’s more disturbing: the hologram of the old principal having a bikini body or a muscle bound Rambo body.

Now the old principal’s body been turned into gorilla’s while wearing bikini. Okay, I more disturbing than the other two.

They still have science fairs in the future?

I have to admit, it’s actually weird seeing William Hurt with hair since his has thinned out a lot since this film.

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Lacey Chabert hasn’t even been onscreen for 5 seconds yet and I already hate her character.

Wow. Penny’s video diary film is like a precursor for all YouTube video blogs in our wold today.

Matt LeBlanc’s salute just now is probably the most eager and overdone salute I have ever seen.

Nice buzzcut dude.

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“WHERE IS MY MONEY?!” Funny that’s the first thing Gary Oldman said when signed on to this piece of crap.

Oh, man. In the future we still use floppy discs lol

Why hello Heather Graham *re-ow*

WA WA WAAAAAAAA!!!!

So Will created a time machine for his science fair project? Clearly this is going to be a major plot point later on in the film.

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You would think in the future we would have technology that could tell us if somebody is hiding inside a box, but nope we don’t.

Oh, no! Gary Oldman was betrayed the same villains that he was working for!

“Can we cut off her oxygen so she’s not annoying when she wakes up” I agree with Will on this plan for Penny.

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What the hell kind of space suits are they wearing? They look like they belong in BATMAN & ROBIN than this film.

*Cue Arnold Schwarzenegger doing an ice pun from BATMAN & ROBIN for this scene*

The Robinson’s space ship in the film looks a doughnut

Hey! Its that dude who looks like Marlon Brando, but isn’t Marlon Brando!

“Oh, Man. I just dreamed I was cast in a film called LOST IN SPA-Ahh… Oh, shit.”

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“DESTROY JUPITER 2. DESTROY ROBINSON FAMILY. YOU HAVE 10 SECONDS TO COMPLY*

“You alright?” “Next picnic. No robots” You’re racist, Matt LeBlanc!

“We’re way off course!” Yeah, I’m pretty sure you weren’t heading towards the sun before! Dumb arse.

It’s getting hot, hot, hot… I’m sorry about making that joke. It was too easy.

“She can’t break free. She hasn’t got enough thrust” That’s what she said *BA-DA-DIS*

Whoa! This film did bullet time before THE MATRIX! Just not as cool, but still.

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I’m sorry. I can’t take any of the characters seriously if looks like they’re wearing weird S&M suits.

“We’re lost…” IN SSSSSSPPPPPPPAAAAAACCCCCCCEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

I swear Heather Graham doesn’t know how to age. She looks the same in this film as she does now.

You can clearly see that William Hurt looks totally bored through out this film.

Uh, oh. The Robinson family have just stumbled across the Event Horizon.

What the hell is a sensor ghost?

My God. Penny is so bloody annoying!

“Can he be anymore cuter? I don’t think so. But I’m personally more of a fan of Matthew Perry”

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“Black was always my colour” Actually, black isn’t a colour. It’s a shade. Being a doctor I thought you would know that, Smith. Dumb arse.  

Man, the dialogue in this film is awful.

“Trust me. Evil knows evil” Gary Oldman should know ’cause he’s played the villain in like a billion films.

Yes. Go after the only life form inside a creepy ghost ship

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Holy crap! It’s Baby Dil from THE RUGRATS. Oh, wait. Its an alien monkey. My mistake.

Wait a sec. In the future they somehow mixed bananas and beef… together? Eeeewwwww!!!

“OH MY GOD! GET THIS CGI ABOMINATION OF ME!”

Alien spiders. Why does it always have to be alien spiders?

Okay, that shot of Matt LeBlance’s mask sliding over his face is the only cool part in this film.

Its amazing that the alien monkey is way less annoying than Penny is.

Now the Robinson family have landed on planet Hoth.

Does anyone have any idea what the plot to this film is? Cause I honestly don’t know.

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Well, it’s clear that Maureen wears the pants in this space mission.

Man… 90s CGI was awful.

Yeah, name the alien monkey the first word that pops out of its mouth.

“We’re really lost, aren’t we” Yes, lost… in SSSSPPPPPAAAAACCCCEEEEE!!!!

Wait, did Mat and Heather just compare the star constellations to Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig? Okay.

Geez, Matt doesn’t beat around the bush, does he?

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Man, this film is going to be one of those father-not-spending-time-with-his-son movies, isn’t it?

Okay, the little bit where LeBlanc takes the water away from Heather was kind of funny.

I’m surprised Steven Spielberg didn’t direct this film since all this film is about the father-son relationship.

“I’m coming back, Will. I just got to go down to the store and get a pack of cigarettes”

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“Thinking isn’t your strong suit, isn’t it?” “What’s thinking?”

“I love you, wife” Wow… There was no emotion behind that whatsoever.

Oh, dear God. Penny is still doing her annoying video blogging again.

Oh, dear God. The robot is now telling jokes.

Gary Oldman is having way too much fun chewing the scenery in this film.

OMG Dr. Smith stumble across the graves of Maureen, Judy and Penny! * DUN-DUN-DUN-DAAA!*

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Oh, hi Jared Harris!

OMG Jared Harris is really the grownup version of Will!!! *DUN-DUN-DUN-DAAAAA*

Come on, Adult Will. Give your Dad a break. It’s not his fault it took him 20 years to find those cigarettes.

You know for someone who is smart, Will is a complete dumb arse.

Oh, man. Future Dr. Smith has turned into one of the creatures from MIMIC.

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Ummm… Robots don’t have hearts, Will. Dumb arse.

Man, this film has gone on way too long than it needed to be.

Wait… Did Judy just send out a flare that went it exploded, it was in the shape of Daffy Duck? *face palm*

Geez, Adult Will. It only took you 20 years to realise that Monster Dr. Smith was using you all this time? Dumb arse.

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Why does Monster Dr. Smith look like Reptile from MORTAL KOMBAT now?

Ummm… Where are you getting Judy’s name tattooed on, West?!

Whoa! The Robinson’s ship just blew up and killed everyone on board!

Oh, man. Can this film be any more sentimental right now 

Man, the resolution to this whole father-son subplot is cheesy as hell.

Gee, I wonder if the Robinson family will escape the exploding planet again this time? *Sarcasm*

Yeah… They made it. Whatever.

Yeah, Matt and Heather having the romantic chemistry of a fish bowl.

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I hope the Robinsons can get away from the black hole and find their way bac-WHAT THE HELL?! THE FILM JUST ENDS RIGHT THERE?! THAT BULLSHIT!

Oh, man. Oh, man. Oh, man. This movie is absolutely awful on every level and makes no sense. I wonder who wrote this crap?

Akiva Goldsmith?! Akiva Goldsmith wrote this?! The guy who wrote BATMAN & ROBIN?! That explains EVERYTHING!!!!!

And of course, the film ends with a terrible 90s techno of the original show’s theme song. Figures. I need a drink.

Hey, Gary Oldman! Who do think shouldn’t watch this piece of crap? 

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 18th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in two weeks for my very special Christmas themed 19th edition, which I could be doing on one of the following three bad Christmas films: JINGLE ALL THE WAY, SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS or SANTA WITH MUSCLES. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

– Bede Jermyn

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