Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #11: Steel

Hey everyone! Welcome to my 11th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. As you already know last month here on SuperMarcey.com I posted up poll with three bad movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… STEEL! Will I figure the reason why the studio thought it would be a great idea to have Shaquille O’Neal play superhero? Is it possible that this film is even more worse than BATMAN & ROBIN? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

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Bede @BedeJermyn

From Warner Bros., the studio that brought us comic book film classics like BATMAN & ROBIN, SUPERMAN III and SUPERMAN IV: THE QUEST FOR PEACE comes…

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Yeah, the first person I think of when  it comes to casting someone as a superhero, its Shaquille O’Neal

Oh, Quincy Jones. Why did you produce this trash?

Also when it comes to casting someone in the role of the villain in a superhero, Judd Nelson is definitely the first one that comes to my mind

Shaft!

What a minute, there was casting director in this film?!

Based on the DC Comic character ‘Steel’… Well, not really. The film is nothing like the comic book character at all

So Quincy Jones went from producing the Oscar nominated THE COLOR PURPLE to producing… This?!

Wait a sec, Am I watching the right film? Is this the opening of JURASSIC PARK?

Oh, it isn’t. Dammit.

Charles Napier. Legend.

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Man. That was the least convincing “Nnnnnooooo!!!!!” acting I’ve ever seen. Nice job, Shaq. Not.

Judd Nelson. Dumb arse.

Oh, no! There crushed by styrofoam walls! Oh, the humanity!

Geez, Shaq. It’s not that hard to lift up styrofoam concrete

Judd Nelson looks like the size of an ant compared to Shaq. It’s hilarious!

Yeah, Judd Nelson’s character doesn’t make any sense at all.

Yeah, I totally buy Shaq as a weapons designer for the military.

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The best actor in the film is definitely the woman who plays Annabeth Gish’s Nurse in this scene. Her reaction shot was hilarious

Yep, nothing says the 90’s like having the song “Bust A Move” on the soundtrack

Of course you wouldn’t have Shaq starring in your film if you didn’t at lest one scene involving basketball.

So his character sucks at basketball? That’s hilarious cause the total opposite of what he is like in real life HAHAHAHA.. HA!

Product placement!

lol That guy’s hair due is hilarious!

So Judd Nelson’s character teams up with a video game distributor to create weapons? Makes sense.

Hey look! Brandy’s brother/Kim Kardasian’s sex tape partner Ray J.!

Oh hai Johnny!

Shaq is now working at a… Steel mil. I see what you did there movie.

Since were at a steel mil, I expect Jennifer Beal will show up and the song ‘What A Feelin’!’ will be playing any second now.

Man, this film is a NRA members wet dream

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So Judd’s character is named Burke. Have you ever noticed that every jerk in the history of cinema also has this exact name as well?

Geez, Judd. If you didn’t like the person who was working with you, you could have done a less elaborate way of killing them off.

I’m sorry but whose this police woman whose friend’s with Shaq? She just appears out of nowhere.

So Shaq plays a weapons designer who after finding how harmful his designs are, gives up being one and becomes a superhero.

Why does that sound very familiar? This sounds exactly like the plot to IRON MAN o_O

The score to this film sounds like porno music

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STEEL is what I imagine IRON MAN would have been like if it were made by people who didn’t know how to make movies

This is the most boring chase scene I have ever seen

Ummm… You know Shaq. If you just rolled away in the opposite direction, you wouldn’t have caught under that train carriage 

Ah, oh. Shaq is pissed

I don’t know how he did it, but Shaq has truly master the power of un-acting

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Hey, I didn’t know Nick Fury was in this film

I think Tommy Wiseau studied Shaq’s performance  in preparation for his role in THE ROOM.

You know between this film, BATMAN & ROBIN and SPAWN, 1997 was not a good year for comic book films. Thank God for MEN IN BLACK.

Yeah, I don’t think Shaq is that strong in real life

Shaq just showed Annabeth Gish a toilet. Yeah, that’s the first thing I show a woman when I take her to a place

Pull my finger!

“Hi! I’m Uncle Joe” but friends call me Shaft.

Well, since Batman couldn’t make an appearance in this film, they just got the BATMAN FOREVER pinball machine instead.

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Go on Annabeth Gish! Get yourself ofgf that floor and back into that wheelchair!

Oh, man. This film is so… Boring!

You know, that has to be the cleanest looking garbage dump I’ve ever seen

Okay, Shaq. It’s now time for you to pull my finger.

HAHAHAHA Another joke about Shaq’s character unable to play basketball. This running gag will NEVER get old

Ahh, the early days of the internet. Oh, how we have evolved since then.  

Nice Superman tattoo on your arm, Shaq. I suppose this will be the only reference to Superman being involved with Steel’s creation

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Hey! It’s future Oscar nominated character actor John Hawkes!

Oh… My… God… Steel’s costume is the worst superhero costume I have EVER seen in my entire life

It makes the George Clooney’s nipple suited Batman suite look amazing by comparison

I find it very hard to believe that a criminal would be terrified of someone wearing… That

I like how Steel’s exit is just going backwards on an escalator

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Seriously if I saw someone dressed up in the superhero costume that Shaq wears in this film, I would be pissing myself laughing

Yeah, I find it very, and I mean VERY, hard to believe that Shaq’s costume is bulletproof.

“Well, I’ll be dipped in shit and rolled in bread crumbs” That’s some Pulitzer Prize writing right there folks.

Steel has to be the least intimating superhero of ALL time. Well, at lest in this film.

That has to be the slowest fall in history

Where the hell did that Batman-esque Bat-cave out of junk come from? This film is so dumb

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Why is Judd Nelson talking about hot dogs all of a sudden?

You know I feel sorry for Annabeth Gish. She deserves much better than this crap.

I’m wondering what the budget for this film? I’m think at lest $50 max.

Wow. There was no emotion at all when Annabeth Gish said ‘Johnny’ just then.

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I’m surprised that Shaq can run at all in that suit.

I swear the film is just using stock footage of Shaq riding around on his bike.

There are Nazis in this film now?! I shouldn’t be surprised since they were pretty much the bad guys in every film during the 90’s

You would think they the filmmakers could have come up with a better name for Annabeth Gish’s character than ‘Sparky’.

Oh, no! The police ruined the soufflé! Those bastards will pay!

Yeah, this scene wouldn’t happen in real life.

Seriously, couldn’t they have design a better costume! I could have made a better costume than that!

So… Whatever happened to Shaq’s police woman friend?

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Geez, is there anything that Steel’s hammer can’t do?

The film made another reference to Superman. All the references in the world are not going make up for the lack of him in this film

Wow. Every stereotypical bad guy that has ever appeared in cinema is in this scene.

Judd Nelson, just because you double cross your partner and shoot him, it still doesn’t make you a intimating villain

This Nick Fury look-alike’s reaction to finding out that Judd Nelson tricked him into eating pork is a little over the top.

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It’s about time Richard Roundtree went into Shaft mode.

Seriously, this whole film would have been over if somebody just walked up to Judd Nelson and just slapped him in the face

Whoa! Annabeth Gish’s wheelchair is packing some real heat!

Seriously, why couldn’t her character be the hero of the story? Her character is more bad arse than Steel

lol Judd Nelson’s handgun looks 10 times bigger than him

Oh, dear God. We’ve finally come to conclusion of Shaq’s running gag about him not be able to play basketball have we?

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That hand grenade is taking way too long to explode

Great audio dubbing there by Judd Nelson

Man, what a pussy way for a villain to die.

Thank God this film is almost over, cause I seriously can’t take this anymore!

Yeah! Grandma finally got the soufflé to work! What a satisfying end to the most pointless subplot in the history of cinema

Shaq and Annabeth Gish have the chemistry of a paper bag and a door frame

Well, that’s the end of the movie. Thank God for that cause I was going to kill myself if it went on any longer than that.

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I know a lot of people consider BATMAN & ROBIN as the worst superhero film ever made, clearly they never saw this abomination

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this 11th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in May for the next one which could one of the following three films: THE LAST AIRBENDER, MAC AND ME or PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted here on SuperMarcey.com soon!

– Bede Jermyn

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