So you lost your Showgirls virginity … An interview by Marcey with Logan on the subject

This week one of our contributors Logan J. Fowler decided to bite the bullet and watch the cult classic that is Showgirls for the first time. There were laughs, there were tears, but nothing could quite prepare him for what he was about to see.

After he watched the film we had a 1 on 1 interview about the experience. My good friend Harrison Packer (whose thesis is being written on Showgirls) also lent some input to these questions.

Marcey: What was going through your mind as you finished watching Showgirls for the very first time?

Logan: Elizabeth Berkley was attractive when I saw her at the beginning. 2 hours and 11 minutes later…yeah not so much. I can’t be attracted to a woman who puts out like she’s about to be thrown into a blender.

Also, I think it’s funny that there was a “Zack” character in an Elizabeth Berkley film. Brings back memories. But Berkley’s performance is so far out in left field there were segments where I forgot she was Jessie Spano. Credit goes to her I guess. She had to make a movie like this to pull that off…along with her clothes.

Marcey: Was it what you were expecting?

Logan: I didn’t know what to expect. The best way to experience showgirls is to expect the unexpected. And to lower your expectations. Expect nothing. AND EVERYTHING. YEEEEAAAAAH.

Marcey: Where would you place it amongst the ‘Awfully Bad Films’ you’ve seen?

Logan: I’ve seen four popular ‘Awfully Bad Films’, least ones I can say would strongly fit into that category. I’d still say The Room takes the cake at spot #1, Troll 2 following closely behind, No Retreat No Surrender nipping at Troll 2’s heels, and then way, way, way behind Troll 2 is Showgirls, like a poor Mario Kart racer who got slammed (no pun intended) with too many red turtle shells. Those three films mentioned before Showgirls make you appreciate bad cinema. Showgirls will make you appreciate pornography so much more.

Marcey: What life lessons did you learn from Showgirls?

Logan: That I can dance better than Nomi Malone. And I’m white. And a guy. That’s not dancing. That’s just gyrating. On steroids.

Marcey: Are you a Nomi or a Cristal?

Logan: Is there another option? No? Cristal then. Gina Gershon was in Face/Off, we have a winner. Can I go now?

Marcey: Favourite scene?

Logan: The end credits.

Marcey: Least favourite scene?

Logan: Not trying to spoil anything, there’s a scene near the end of the film that was so out of place and wrecked the most humble character in the whole film. It honestly wrecked the tone of the rest of the movie, if you can even believe that.

Marcey: Favourite character?

Logan: Molly. And the black dude with dreads. Honestly I guess I didn’t like any of the white people featured.

Marcey: Least Favourite character?

Zack Carey, with his stupid emo flip hair, he looked like Peter Parker in Spider-man 3.

Marcey: If you had to guess, what do you this Goddess is actually about, and would you sit through it in its entirety?

Logan: I have no idea. Maybe it’s a mirror to the film? Like a woman has to fight her way to the top to become a goddess, and must bare her breasts to do so? In any case, I wouldn’t sit through it, I’d just go to Cheetah’s instead.

Marcey: Favourite dance number?

Logan: The pool scene….wait that wasn’t a dance number? Did you see how she moved in the pool? Sure looked like dancing to me. Well Nomi’s style of dancing, anyway.

Marcey: On a scale of ‘worse than dog food’ to ‘better than a 10 inch dick’ how would you rate Showgirls?

Logan: This film, chock full of nudity, sex, and gyrating women, turned me OFF. Worse than doggy chow. A film for the ages…of over 17.

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