Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #79: The Star Wars Holiday Special

Hey, everyone! Welcome to my 79th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series! I have sincerely apologise once again for the lateness of this edition. I was going to have this on the site just before Christmas as I originally planned due to a family visiting and a whole bunch of other stuff that was happening late December and even early January, so I didn’t get the time to do it until now. As you already know back in December here on SuperMarcey.com, I said that this edition was going to be a special Christmas themed one. I posted up poll with three bad Christmas films and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this 79th instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL! Is this without a doubt the single worst thing to come out of the STAR WARS franchise? What drugs was everyone on when they made this STAR WARS themed holiday variety show? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this a billion times before, but I’m going to say it again: is it too late for me to *not* watch this film? #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, geez. You know that this special had a very low budget because other than Han & Chewie being in the Millennium Falcon cockpit, this is all just reused stock footage from A NEW HOPE. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Producers: “Let’s see. We can’t use Christmas since it doesn’t exist in this exist in this galaxy, so let create a whole new holiday that kind of like Christmas but call it Life Day instead.” #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

As stupid of an idea Life Day is, thanks to THE MANDALORIAN, that as aspect of this special is now officially cannon. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

I like how Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher look like their held hostage  in this opening credits. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Ummm… I’m not sure why a STAR WARS special would need guest stars, but whatever. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

I swear that establishing shot of Chewie’s family home looks a screencap from a scene from the EWOKS animated series. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

So… They made a holiday special of STAR WARS that managed to get everyone from the first movie to star in it (including Harrison Ford) but the focus of 80% of it is Chewie’s family?… Umm… Why?! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Chewie’s son Lumpy has only been on screen for 10 seconds and I already hate him. Seriously, he’s annoying! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Wait, hold the phone! There’s no subtitles for Chewie’s family whenever talk Wookie? What is the point of this! I guess you can tell what’s going on based on what’s happening in the scene but still… This is already tedious. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Chewie’s dad Itchy looks a Bigfoot costume that was used in ‘50s B-grade horror films. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Ummm… What is going on?! I’m only a few minutes in and I don’t know what’s happening anymore. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Lumpy: the original Jar Jar Binks. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Ahhh… What kind trippy ass hologram dance show is this that Lumpy is watching?! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Why are the dancers wearing dragon costumes? I need answers… #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

The only way I can describe what is happening right now is that imagine if Tom Hooper’s CATS film was made in the ‘70s and the dancers looked like dragons, it would be this. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

I like how Chewie’s wife Marla has the exact same hairstyle as the famous one that Farrah Fawcett had in the ‘70s. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, hi Mark Hamill! Don’t worry i’m just as confused you are right now. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

I swear Mark Hamill has not blinked at all in this scene as Luke Skywalker. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

All the smoke that’s coming out of R2-D2 is all the pit that he and Luke Skywalker smoked to get through this special. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, hi Art Carney! Seriously, dude. You just won an Oscar 4 years prior to starring in this special. Were you really that desperate for money? #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Poor Art Carney. You can tell he is really trying but he wasn’t much to do in this special as the character he’s playing. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, look! More archival footage from A NEW HOPE again! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

I like that according to this special, cooking aprons exist in the SW universe. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

So… There’s an alien Julia Child like character in this universe too, huh? #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

I don’t know why Harvey Korman is dressed up in drag as an alien Julia Child, but I’m disturbed. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Another thing that exists in this SW universe according to this special: TV shows. Especially cooking shows. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

If you told me that Harrison Ford shot all his scenes for this special in an hour, I would definitely believe you. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, geez. Every time they do a close up of Itchy’s face, he looks like a scrunched up anus. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

It has to say something that Art Carney is the least bizarre thing that I’ve seen in the special so far. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

What the hell type of machine has Art Carney got Itchy hooked up too? #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, dear God! Those dancers are back and they’re now dressed up as sperm! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Ahhh… Is Itchy watching… A porno?! Oh, my… #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

OH, MY GOD!!! ITCHY IS TOTALLY WATCHING A PORNO!!! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Diahann Carroll’s hair is so shiny. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

This song that Diahann Carroll is singing sounds like a rejected James Bond 007 theme. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

I think Itchy just came after that. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Sassy C-3PO is my fav C-3PO. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Carrie Fisher looks so bored. Or on drugs. Or both. It seriously wouldn’t surprise me. I would to if I had to be forced to star in this. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Can we please stop having close-up shots of Lumpy’s face! I’m even more terrified than I’m already am right now! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, finally! It looks like Han & Chewie have finally showed up at the house. It looks like all over-Oh, shit! Stormtroopers! Bloody hell. That means this special will continue. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

It’s pretty clear that Art Carney wasn’t given a script and is just ad-libing all his lines. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

This holiday special would feel more home in the SPACEBALLS universe than it does in the SW universe. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

“Can you get on with it!” Don’t worry, I’ve been saying the same thing throughout this special so far. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, great. Another unnecessary song performance. This time from Jefferson Starship. Again, why?! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, geez. This song is going on way longer than it needs to. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

I don’t know how it’s possible for something SW related to make something where nothing happens, but this special found a way. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Just when you thought that this special couldn’t get even more insane, they’re literally playing an animated short film right now. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

You know what? This animated short film is the best thing about this special so far. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, hi Bobo Fett! It’s nice to see your first glimpse of you in this special before your live action debut in EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

“He seems like a friend.” Oh, Luke, my sweet summer child. If only you knew then what we already know about Bobo Fett. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Another thing that this special establishes in the SW universe: cartoon also exist here too. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Seriously why didn’t they make a whole TV series based on this animated short film? It would be a million times better than this special. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Yeah… The animated version of Han is… Pretty ugly. Plus it doesn’t help that Harrison Ford’s voice work here has much of the same enthusiasm as his narration from the original theatrical cut of BLADE RUNNER. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Geez, Empire. I know Lumpy is very annoying, it you didn’t have to tear up his room like that. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

You know you’ve made a terrible TV holiday special when the characters in it would rather watch TV in it on-and-off throughout it. Don’t blame them. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, geez. Harvey Korman what they hell are you doing now?! We don’t need anymore of these pointless sketches! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Once again… I have no idea what the fuck is going on so far. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Cleary this footage of Mos Eisley is just discarded unused footage from A NEW HOPE. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Okay, as pointless as it is having all these guest stars appear in it, you can’t go wrong with Bea Arthur. She’s a legend and we stan for her, dammit! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Did that guy just put his drink in a hole at the top of his head? #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Okay, Bea Arthur is pouring more drinks into that guy’s head. I’m disturbed. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Based on this Mos Eisley cantina scene, apparently reality TV also exists in the SW universe as well. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Dammit, bar patrons! You listen to Bea Arthur and show some damn respect! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Okay, other than the animated short film segment, Bea Arthur is only other good part of this special. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Now seeing Bea Arthur in this special, they should have made a SW style version of THE GOLDEN GIRLS now. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, great. Anther music number. There’s way too many of these in this special. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, hi Greedo! It looks like you survived being shot after all. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Seriously, everyone who made this special must have been in large amount of cocaine and LSD because they would explain everything about this special.” #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, my god! Get on with it, special! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Thank, God! Han & Chewie have finally showed up to save the day! That means this will be over soon! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

I don’t know how it’s possible that the Chewie is the least scary looking Wookie in this. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Ummm… I don’t know about anyone else but based on how Marla is looking at Han, I think we wants to bone him. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, thank God. For a moment there I thought Chewie & Marla we’re going to have sex in front of Itchy & Lumpy. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

It really has to say something that guest star Art Carney has more screen time than any of the actual STAR WARS characters in this SW special. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Now that everything is back to normal, Chewie and his family can finally celebrate Life Day. Which is never explained at all. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

No, Chewie! Don’t you and your family walk into that light! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Yeah… Seeing Chewie in clothes, is really, really weird. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

“I’m really glad to be here, pal.” No, Harrison Ford. You’re not. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

So… Princess Leia is now singing a song. Sure. Why not. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Oh, man. Every time they do a close up of Harrison Ford’s face, it’s hysterical how bored he looks. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Ahhh… Is Chewie staring into the abyss right now? #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

I like the how the end credits is just a montage of clips from the film. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

For crying out loud!!! JUST END THIS SPECIAL ALREADY!!! #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

Well, that’s the end of the film. I can definitely see why they never showed this special since it first aired back in 1978, because it is absolutely atrocious and without a doubt the worst thing to ever come out of SW. #StarWarsHolidaySpecial

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this slightly late Christmas themed 79th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in late January for my special bad films of 2019 themed 80th edition, which could one of the following three bad films that were released during 2019: THE FANATIC, THE LION KING (2019) and A MADEA FAMILY REUNION. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

Article written by Bede Jermyn

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