Bede’s Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon #77: Jaws – The Revenge

Hey everyone! Welcome to the 77th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon series. As you already know last month here on SuperMarcey.com, I said that this edition was going to be a special horror themed one in honour of Halloween this month. I posted up poll with three bad horror movies and I said that whichever one out of those three films had the highest votes, I would watch and live-tweet for this column. Well, the votes are in and you all have spoken. For this horror themed 77th instalment of Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon, you guys wanted me to watch and live-tweet… JAWS: THE REVENGE! Is this the absolute worst sequel in the JAWS franchise? Was everyone on drugs when they came up with the plot of this film? Read on and find out! Enjoy!

Bede @BedeJermyn

I know I’ve said this a billion times before, but I’m going to say it again: is too late for me to *not* watch this film? #JawsTheRevenge

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the cinema, they made another JAWS films. #JawsTheRevenge

No matter how bad this film is, the JAWS theme will always get me. #JawsTheRevenge

The fourth JAWS film a.k.a. The one where the Shark in this one becomes Jason Voorhees Or Michael Myers. #JawsTheRevenge

Wait, this film set a Christmas time? Damn. Forget the DIE HARD debate, we should be debating whether JAWS: THE REVENGE should be officially a Christmas film #JawsTheRevenge

Well, we couldn’t get Roy Scheider to come back, so here’s a picture of him up on the wall at the police station instead #JawsTheRevenge

You would think after being involved in three separate shark attack incidents, Sean Brody would stay away from the water but nope! #JawsTheRevenge

Oh, no! The shark just jumped out of the water and took his arm! That was his favourite one too! #JawsTheRevenge

Don’t worry, Sean. Tis only a flesh would. #JawsTheRevenge

The shark just killed Sean. Like I said before after surviving three shark attacks, you would think he would have know better. #JawsTheRevenge

What a minute! That’s not Dennis Quaid! It’s Lance Guest as Michael Brody. This is some recasting that I don’t approve of. #JawsTheRevenge

“I want you to get out of the water!” Well, they can’t, Ellen. We wouldn’t have a film if they did. #JawsTheRevenge

“Sharks don’t commit murder!” Well, they do in the universe of this film now. #JawsTheRevenge

Ah, yes. Chief Brody died of a heart attack from fear. Which doesn’t make sense since he killed the shark twice. So I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t be afraid of them anymore. #JawsTheRevenge

You know what? In this scene Ellen Brody isn’t crying because she is mourning the loss of her son, she’s crying because she realised that she in JAWS: THE REVENGE. #JawsTheRevenge

Michael Caine has arrived. Remember this everyone: he couldn’t go the Academy Awards to pick up his first Oscar because he was shooting this film. #JawsTheRevenge

Yep, it’s official. JAWS: THE REVENGE is a Christmas film. Maybe it should have been called SANTA JAWS instead. #JawsTheRevenge

I don’t know why Ellen is getting upset that her granddaughter is swinging on that dock. I’m pretty sure a 25 feet killer shark isn’t going to come to water that shallow. #JawsTheRevenge

Ellen Brody: “Stay our of the water! Don’t ever go in it” *Five minutes later goes for a swim* #JawsTheRevenge

Okay, granted it was a dream sequence, but I’m still found to count it. #JawsTheRevenge

Oh, man. Mario Van Peebles’ Jamaican accent is hilarious bad. #JawsTheRevenge

Okay, I know that t he granddaughter isn’t meant to realise the emotional weight of what’s been going on so far, but not everything that comes out of her mouth should be awkwardly inappropriate. #JawsTheRevenge

Okay, geez. We just had our first look at the mechanical shark, and it’s just about as threatening as a poodle. #JawsTheRevenge

Every time he is onscreen, Michael Caine has a look on his face that says, “Can I just get my check and leave already?” #JawsTheRevenge

I want to see a picture of the house that Michael Caine bought with his pay-cheque from this film because of it isn’t as magnificent as he has said many times in interview, I’m going to be disappointed. #JawsTheRevenge

I don’t know whose idea was to make a romance subplot between Lorraine Gary and Michael Caine, it really doesn’t work. #JawsTheRevenge

Ummm… Does Ellen Brody have a psychic link with the shark? Because that’s what I think the film is insinuating right now. #JawsTheRevenge

“You know you need to move on with your life” Dude… Her son just died literally a few days ago. #JawsTheRevenge

Oh, man. The fashion in this randomly out of nowhere casino scene is so… ‘80s. #JawsTheRevenge

So not only is JAWS: THE REVENGE a Christmas film, it’s also New Years Eve film. Is this the horror film to cover two separate holidays in the same story? #JawsTheRevenge

You know if everyone in this film had Batman’s shark repellent, this whole film would have been over in two minutes. #JawsTheRevenge

Is it just me, or does Lance Guest in this film looks strangely like Armie Hammer? #JawsTheRevenge

Umm… Michael… I don’t know why and your co-workers are trying to lure that shark to study it, but I don’t think that’s a good idea given everything that has happened… Dumb arse. #JawsTheRevenge

I like how everyone in this film is talking about how hot and warm the Bahamas is, but everyone is wearing jumpers. #JawsTheRevenge

That kiss between Lorraine Gary and Michael Caine is one of t he most awkward things I’ve ever seen. #JawsTheRevenge

Ahh… Michael. I think there is more pressing matters at hand here with this giant killer shark than worrying about who your Mum is dating. #JawsTheRevenge

I like how Lorraine’s jumpers all have shoulder pads on them. #JawsTheRevenge

Yeah… I know that this scene where Michael’s daughter is coping every move he makes is meant to be a callback to the first film, but it feels… Very fan servicey. #JawsTheRevenge

You know it has to say something when the daughter is more creepier than the actual killer shark. #JawsTheRevenge

Oh, man. In this scene where the shark attacks Michael’s submarine, you can very quickly see the hydraulic holding up the shark lol. #JawsTheRevenge

It’s weird both this film and THE CHIPMUNK ADVENTURE in 1987, we would have a scene where a main character gets chased by a shark in a dunk ship in the name year. #JawsTheRevenge

I don’t know how it’s possible for a shark to smash through at steel shit but whatever. #JawsTheRevenge

“I’m scared shitless” THEN WHY ARE YOU GOING BACK IN THE WATER, MICHAEL!!! #JawsTheRevenge

You know for a film that’s about a shark that’s acting like a revenge-seeking serial murderer, nothing much happens. #JawsTheRevenge

Oh, man. The shoulder pads on Ellen in these scene get bigger and bigger each time we see her. #JawsTheRevenge

Finally! After an hour of waiting, we’re finally going to get our shark attack in this film. #JawsTheRevenge

How it’s possible where you have a shark that basically has the personality of Michael Myers compared the ones in the previous films, and it just ends up happening to be in the entry with the lowest body count of the whole franchise?! #JawsTheRevenge

My favourite type of acting from Michael Caine is when it’s clear that he doesn’t care at all. #JawsTheRevenge

Ahhh… Did Michael Caine’s character just insinuate that when he isn’t flying, he smuggles drugs?! #JawsTheRevenge

Here we go… The time has come… The final showdown… Ellen Brody vs. the shark. The match-up that fans have been waiting for. #JawsTheRevenge

I like how the shark just literally lunges out of the water in every scene. #JawsTheRevenge

Hmmm… I’m pretty sure that plane isn’t a water one, Michael Caine. #JawsTheRevenge

“OH, SHIT!” Funnily enough, that’s the same thing Michael Caine said when he’s agent told him he was going to be in this film. #JawsTheRevenge

“Don’t you have any idea what you are doing?!” Clearly nobody who made this film did. #JawsTheRevenge

Oh, come on, Mario Van Peebles. The shark didn’t grab you, you just literally through yourself into its month. #JawsTheRevenge

I don’t know what’s a scarier: the shark or Michael wearing double denim. #JawsTheRevenge

Ahhh… Why is Ellen flashing back to both Chief Brody shooting the shark and Sean’s death?! SHE WASN’T PRESENT WHEN THOSE MOMENTS HAPPENED! How is this possible?! This film, man. This film. #JawsTheRevenge

Did the shark just let a roar?! #JawsTheRevenge

So if this Shark can actually let out a lion roar, does that make it a catfish? #JawsTheRevenge

I don’t even know what’s going on anymore. #JawsTheRevenge

So they kill the shark by piercing it with the ship. That’s… Anticlimactic. #JawsTheRevenge

And then the film just ends a minute later. Once again… Anticlimactic. #JawsTheRevenge

Well, that’s the end of the film. While it’s definitely not the worse JAWS sequel (that title belongs to JAWS 3), but this is still pretty bad nonetheless. Plus it’s also the most non-sensical and illogical one for sure. #JawsTheRevenge

I hope everyone enjoyed reading this special horror themed 77th edition of my Bad Movie Tweet-A-Thon! Keep a look out in November for my 78th edition, which could one of the following three bad films: THE COLOR OF NIGHT, JUNIOR or ESCAPE PLAN 2: HADES. Which one will it be? Vote on the poll which will be posted on SuperMarcey.com soon!

Article written by Bede Jermyn

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s