The Super Network

2/5

Yes it is no secret I am not a fan of Twilight, so why did I go and watch the sequel? Curiosity mainly, but also it felt wrong saying something was bad when I hadn’t actually seen it. I need to be justified in that, I do believe you can’t judge something right unless you have seen/heard it. So finally I bit the bullet and watched New Moon, I was actually hoping it would be an improvement from Twilight, sadly however it was not. Twilight I felt was a bad film, I just did not think it was very good at all, average at best and certainly not targeted at me. I found enjoyment out of it from how unintentionally hilarious it was. Bad acting, bad dialogue, you know the usual stuff, there were a few decent scenes and I felt there was a lot more chemistry between the characters of Bella and Jacob. And then the vampire’s which should be cool, became extremely uncool and they sparkled and glittered in the sun instead of bursting into flames like the normal vampires do. Now I am all for having interesting mythos with vampires, changing it up, but this was just ridiculous and felt so childish that it was almost an insult, even to younger ones. Now New Moon is no different, the mythos Stephanie Meyer has created are obviously still present, but as a film I felt New Moon was a let down and that Twilight is actually better.

New Moon picks off where Twilight left off, Edward and Bella are together, happily it seems. Bella is having her birthday, and the Cullens are celebrating with her and she has mostly been welcomed to the family. A terrible scene which I laughed so hard at sees Bella get a paper cut (yes a paper cut) which drives the so called vampires crazy for blood. Fearing for her Edward decides to leave Bella (Such a smart idea considering a dangerous vampire Victoria wants to kill her and leaving town leaves her vulnerable, so smart I know), the entire family pack up and leave, as you know someone might notice them not aging and all. Bella is depressed without Edward and she becomes stupid and rebellious, in some really badly done scenes I might add. This leads her to go back to her friend Jacob for comfort, you think yes they might get together, seeing as there is actually chemistry here. But Jacob has a secret and he too leaves Bella, but it isn’t long before she needs saving and she finds out Jacob’s secret he can turn into a wolf on command. Nothing much happens, and suddenly Edward thinks Bella is dead and he wants to kill himself by revealing he is a vampire infront of the Vulturi who are a clan living in Italy.

I am sorry to say it actually pained me to write that, the story itself is awfully silly and it does not make a lot of sense. I haven’t read New Moon so I have no idea how much they kept in or not. But New Moon was boring, not much really happens at all. They like to show off shirtless boys, purposely to entertain the young 13 year old girls who swoon over them. It felt so unnecessary and I honestly didn’t care to see it all the time. The acting in this is basically just as bad as it was in the first, I thought Taylor Lautner as Jacob improved but then he had some scenes (poorly written) he really struggled with and I felt for him. Robert Pattinson who is not in this much was basically the same as the first, he is just pretty terrible as Edward, he got better in Twilight as it went on, but it doesn’t help he has zero chemistry with Kristen Stewart and their romance I can’t buy at all. Sad thing is, in other role Robert is a decent actor, but this material is so awful he can’t really manage. Kristen Stewart can’t emote, she has two facial expressions, showing her teeth and mouth closed. She doesn’t do much of anything else, and she faired no better either, she struggles with the material and having zero chemistry with Pattinson really kills it. Stewart and Lautner have the chemistry and their scenes at least for the most part worked, there are some really bad scenes which had me laughing though (she calls him beautiful after hitting her head). The only one I think does a pretty good job and she was hardly in it (again I thought she was good in Twilight too) was Ashley Greene as Alice Cullen, I wish we had more of her in this film. Anna Kendrick is such a waste here, she’s proving to be a great actress and now an Oscar nominee, but she wasn’t really good here either. The Vulturi who were heavily promoted, are barely in this, they looked alright and Michael Sheen was awesome, he walked through this and you could see he was enjoying himself. Dakata Fanning did the same, you could see she was having a good time and she quite worked. These two with their tiny roles, acted better then the main three have in all two films.

I can’t help but feel this series is just too silly and ridiculous for me, I tried reading Twilight and it was awful. Stephanie Meyer I am sorry love you are not talented, but hey props to you for getting a money maker. I guess you don’t need talent to make it, and Twilight isn’t exactly aimed at me, despite the fact it has ‘vampires’ and ‘werewolves’ (and they aren’t really actually). It isn’t horror, it might be horrible but it is not horror. This is something aimed at young teens, giving them a star crossed romance with a difference. But I can’t help but feel it is not a good thing for them to be reading, Bella is 16/17 and Edward is 109 (just because he looks young does not make him young), and is this saying it is okay for young girls to be with much, much older men? Did Meyer even consider that? Normally with our vampire romances, they are with adults, here they are teenagers so much younger. I wont even go into the gross and disgusting element from the fourth book involving a baby. I don’t think I will ever understand the Twilight appeal, the story I can’t buy, the romance is awful and as I said I didn’t feel it, they have zero passion for each other. Robert Pattinson spends these films looking like he wants to vomit, for me he just isn’t that attractive. If people want to watch this solely for his looks, thats fine, just admit it. Taylor Lautner is a fine looking lad, but he’s too young for me, these guys are just not something I would obsess over. Their actual characters I find annoying, not likable and same with Bella. She really treated Jacob quite badly in the end with this film and he stood there and took it. Not exactly a good role model, however I think we’re supposed to forgive that because Meyer puts in the whole ‘no sex before marriage’ which is promoting that teenagers shouldn’t have sex. No but apparently they should date much older men, yes makes no sense. Unfortunately my review has turned into a huge rant, and I need to stop now before I have an essay!